The Rohirric Bath Tub Race ~ Rohan Summer Fest

[Gwai]

Team Minnow
Gwai & Shivased

Taking the left fork worked out fortuitously for the Minnow, which continued it's voyage down the river what Gwai hoped was thanks to the efforts of the crew, but more likely due to luck. A few riffles and some swift current later, they emerged on the other side of the fork no worse for the wear. "That wasn't too bad," Gwai commented to Shivased, and instantly regretted her words. Immediately in front of them was a series of three rapids.

"Here we gooooooo!" Gwai shouted as they began going through the white water. She had a feeling the old wardrobe would hit a rock and shatter at any minute, but for now, if she could relax just a bit more, this was actually fun. Again, she must have jinxed them, for no sooner than she thought that, then they did begin bouncing off a few rocks hiding in the rapidly moving water. A large splash soaked Gwai to the skin, and she dug her paddle deep into the water in an effort to keep the Minnow straight. "Can you see any more rocks ahead?" she shouted over the road of the water to Shivased.

18 HPs

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

The Team that Drowned in the Rapids - Tean Jenjan


The first bit of the river had been a speedy bliss despite their late entry. They were soon up into second place, and though the river was bubbling and foaming all around them, Balfur's nifty paddle-work meant they avoided all the rocks. Nerwen and Balfur continued to be pulled this way and that, the river spinning them in whatever direction the current deemed best, despite her best efforts with the steering pole. "I don't want a fish dinner", she yelled to her erstwhile husband just as they smashed into a large fishing trap and became entangled. Spluttering and gasping, Nerwen emerged from the wreckage with a few fishy joy riders and some serious cracks in her tub. Wedging her steer pole determinedly into the river, she steered them down and past another small island and towards the fast flowing right hand side of the channel. Just up ahead she could see the lead boat, "We might catch them yet Balfy" she yelled!

[Calimir]

Team Stolen Goods: @Durien

The river was rushing them along at a brisk pace now. Cal' had no time to think. It was all about reaction now. He stuck out his broom stick as some logs threatened to tear his and Léowine's triple-craft apart. His teeth rattled with the impact and his broom stick was no more. A large chunk of the front tub went whizzing skyward. "Wee-HEEE!" he yelled as his team mate called a warning. Cal' couldn't see much. The collison with the logs had filled his head with stars, which was pretty cool. He was from Gondor after all! .

"A name? I think that's the last thing we should worry about, friend Léo. And anyway I'm not sure the organiser would hear us above all this racket." Looking up river with his back to the way they were going, Cal' noticed three boats behind them. "We're still in third place!" he called out to his friend as a loud thundering filled the air.

17 HIT POINTS

[Aodh Hammerhelm]

NPC: Goldwhæt "Rustbucket" Dubhlaoich

Rustbucket sprang from his hide. The progress of the teams had taken him by surprise, already even the rear placed tubs were disappearing from view. “Avast, lads!” he hollered, as his boots found firm ground. “Move yourselves!”

Four strange figures followed in his wake. Naked but for skin loincloths, their tattooed bodies glistening in the sun, the band of tame Wildmen matched Rusty pace for pace along the shore. As he ran Rusty swept the river with his spy-glass.
“Keep it up, lads – double time!” he called as he caught a glimpse of spray rising in the distance.

Onward the little band ran, like hounds after hare, until they’d bypassed the three leading craft. Rustbucket leapt upon a rock, rapids thundering loudly behind him. Three Wildmen gazed up at him, bows in hand.

“Three?!” Rusty cast a quick eye over the trio: Kalumba, their chieftain, and Bill and Ben recruited by Tari Fyrebyrd and Cele Beadufolm many summers hence.

“Where’s Bambu?” the crusty mariner trilled. “The tubs are almost here!”

“He come now-now,” Kalumba replied. “Bring grub and other stuff. Kalumba-chief see him just behind!”

Sure enough there came the fourth, pushing a stout-handcart piled high with provisions under a tanned hide.

Rusty hopped down from his perch and made a quick, but thorough inspection of the contents of the Dunlending’s quivers. Good! Silæs has done what he ought to – no danger of any of our water-babies losing an eye! Each arrow had been doctored, the flint heads removed and the tips of each shaft capped with padded leather cups.

“Up on the rocks!” Rusty yelled. “Get ready to pepper ‘em as they come by” He scanned the river once more. His spy-glass found Team Drowned bearing down on them; the good ship Minnow and Wyrd were not far behind.

”Ready, lads!” Rusty chortled, his face flushed with excitement. His nostrils twitched.

What was that awful smell? Some farmer burning thresh off his fields?

“On my command now, lads… One… Two…” he crowed, turning and noticing too late the cauldron of tar at Bambu's feet, and the flaming torch in the treacherous Dunlending's hand.

”… FIRE AT WILL!”

A hail of flaming arrows arced into the summer sky and plummeted towards the oncoming craft.

[Amhran]

Amhran could tell that her partner was hard put with his Paddleaxe(tm) to avoid the rocks in the shallows, but couldn't spare a hand to help him - she was too busy poking floating fishing debris and hunks of trees away with her bread peel. Small leaks were beginning to spring in the bottom of the Wyrd and her feet were getting wet. "Almost... through!" she panted as she saw the river open up past the log jam. Hopefully it would be easier sailing from there!

...or not. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a brilliant flash and something extinguished itself with a hiss in the water next to the Wyrd. Looking full at it, she saw it was an arrow, and there were more coming at them from the group on the far shore.

"Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me." Squirming around to face the rear, Amhran employed her bread peel to aid @Elvheimdros in speeding their craft along the river. "Paddle faster, Elvh, got to get out of range!"

[KingODuckingham]

Team Stinking Duck Ship

The boat continued to disintegrate. Ducky had moved slightly forward in the craft, as the stern seemed to be trailing in pieces behind them. The poor duck boat would soon be butt-less! Perhaps it was secretly a cicada in the form of a duck? Also, the smell as the craft soaked became more and more horrendous. Ducky wished he had something with which to plug his nose, but the only thing at hand was cheese. He could not figure out a way to turn the problem into the solution in this case.

He put his paddle away and grabbed a hold of each side of the boat. They were accelerating, and his efforts would not have contributed much. He looked to his craft partner. Was she whipping the currents with her own paddle? Did she want to try and repair the cheese wheel?

SURELY NOT. THEY MUST PRESS ON.

[Elvheimdros]

An awful smell seemed to come over the water as the floating duckcheese managed to gather weigh - while sacrificing weight, it looked like, but they were catching up. Oh no. The PADDLEAXE didn't seem to be helping... maybe it was time to try quantity over quality.

Elvh ducked down into the cramped, damp bottom of the barrel and found the spatulas Amhran had mentioned as they were setting off. Just as he raised his head again he saw a flash, heard a hiss, and then Amhran's exclamation. "What on Earth"?" yelled Elvh. "This wasn't in the brochure!" He lunged into a full buttefly-style with the spatulas, hoping the barrel wouldn't rock too far forward (or back) with the wash and that that bread peel would somehow steady the barrel as a rudder.

OOC @Elarith: Your last description said we're also tied for last but I count us at +2 movement from the other last place teams: is that a typo or was the right channel 2 moves longer than the left?

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Éomund - Team Eaflaed (17 hp)

So far they were managing to successfully pilot the Eaflaed along the left-hand channel without running around. But, they're slow and stately progress meant that all of the hecklers had a good view of them and Laewyn's gesture may not have been the smartest in hindsight as Éomund ducked a rotton piece of fruit. Before too much longer, there was a rather substantial amount of rotten fruits and vegetables in parts of the pontoon, damaging the leatherwork. "Next time give us some fresh ones!" Éomund shouted, "then at least we can eat your vindictiveness!"

Turning to Laewyn he asked, "Do you have any brilliant ideas how to get this thing to move a bit faster? I for one would like to get out of this fruity hail sooner rather than later."

[Balfur]

The Team that Drowned some time ago but are too stubborn to give up... ~ 15 hp

Things are not going as planned. They are going far better! Not only has his teammate and erstwhile captain steered them right over the fishtraps; they also contained some delicious fish! Blonde bearded Balfur couldn't be happier. Well... that would be exaggerating, but nonetheless, things are good. "Look what I caught in my beard" he shouts at Nerwen and pulls a big fish, which is probably edible, from his grizzled beard. Just at that moment they reach the rapids. With all the bustling up and down the dwarf barely has the strength to keep himself inside the improvised double-tub, let alone keep the thing together. The fish dives back into the water, out of reach for hungry dwarves. Even if they don't want fish dinners.

Not wanting fish dinner! What kind of nonsense is that? Apearantly Nerwen has changed, though not necessarily for the better. Balfur glares at his companion while he tries to hold the two pieces of the halved barrel together. He is about to speak up when the first arrow landed in the watercraft. "What in Frerins name is this madness?" He yells as he quickly picks up the projectile and tosses is overboard. It causes the Drowned in the Rapids to creak and croak under the stress of the last part of the rapids. "What unintelligent maniac would fire flaming arrows at rivers? Those things are notoriously hard to burn!"

But at least it seems they have managed to fool the river with naming this piece of barrel with the name they named it with. No drowning in the rapids so far. Though the bleeding wardrobe is looking much better. Balfur turns to Nerwen. "What do you think: should we make a pitstop at that island or should we try and overtake that flaming Minnow?" Wait... are those more fishtraps?

[Lirimaer]

Laewyn - Team Eaflaed (17 hp)

Making smart remarks and rude gestures had never gotten her far in life, and the vivid memory of her grandmama's stern face meant that Laewyn didn't particularly feel proud of herself right now; this was exacerbated by the flying fruit and veg squelching softly into the leather. As such, she didn't shout back at all, as Éomund was doing, but caught as much as she could in her offhand saucepan and tipped it neatly into the Snowbourne, blocking with her frying pan. This seemed to enrage all that rabble, and she was sure they were now aiming for her.

Going left was not proving to be speeding them up, and she nearly laughed in his face when Éomund asked if she had any bright ideas about making the raft faster. She manfully restrained herself to a rather wild-eyed grimace.

"Er, not at all," she shouted back, energetically fending off more plant-based food. Honestly, this was just wasteful - did no one have pigs? "You want to try punting?"

Since he looked back blankly, she dropped her pans down and reached for the ladder pole. It would make a quant and hopefully help them move a little faster downriver. She rose unsteadily to her feet, planted them wide on the undulating pontoon, dipped the pole in the water till it hit the bottom and pushed. Well ... it moved. Was it working? Were they going to go faster? It was either that or she was going to fall in. She gripped hard, every muscle straining with effort, trying to keep balance and move forward.

"There must be a rhythm to this," she wheezed, ignoring the dripping tomato in her hair. "I'm getting it, right?"

[Elarith]

AHOY TUBSTERS!

The first stage of the race is hotting up - literally, thanks to Rustbucket and his impish assistants.

Team Wyrd - @Elvheimdros & @Amhran

Roll 3:
Moves: 10
Damage: -3
Hit points: 14

There's nothing like the threat of fire arrows to bring on a burst of speed. The spatulas and bread peel come into their own now. You avoid the fallen trees and the fish traps but the rapids shake Wyrd about so much that some damage is done. This is the price of haste, though, and your craft is soon heading into the swift right-hand channel of the second island, edging ahead into third place. Washerwoman are busy on the left hand bank, and you are almost on top of the waterfall. Brace yourselves!

((OOC Elvh: Yeah I made a mistake in that last update, I muddled up your team with the Duck and Eaflaed in my waffley bit. You weren't really last. Sorry! Thanks for pointing it out.))

Team IllgottenGains - @Durien (Léowine) & @Calimir(Callimdir)

Roll 3:
Moves: 5
Damage: -2
Hit points: 15

The logs have slowed you somewhat, but it at least gives you a modicum more control as you enter the rapids. You are jolted around but your craft takes relatively little damage considering what it has just endured. It pulls to the left-hand channel of the second island, which runs more slowly, and has clumps of reeds. At least the water here is clear enough for you to see any hazards on the riverbed.

Rustbucket and his lads are now sending arrows in your direction, thighs, and you are getting very close to the waterfall.

Team Minnow - @Gwai & @Shivased

Roll 3:
Moves: 4
Damage: -3
Hit points: 15

You are carried past the fish traps, away from the island, but the Minnow lists to the left and becomes encumbered by sheets and clothes trailing in the water. The washer women are not very impressed with you and are not shy to tell you so. Your momentum has been slowed and you are overtaken by the dwarvish team. You plummet over the waterfall with all the grace of a brick. Understandably through all this, your craft has taken some damage.

Now you are over the falls, a logging camp is coming into view. As well as some lights in the sky that are falling towards you...

Team Eaflaed - @Lirimaer (Laewyn) & @Dimcairien Luiniel (Éomund)

Roll 3:
Moves: 10
Damage: -2
Hit points: 15

Well, this pole has made a quant-ifiable difference to your speed. Eaflaed carries you past the islet, away finally from the fruity hell of the heckling crowd, and around the bend. You are jiggled down the rapids, then steered into the fast-flowing right hand channel that curves around the second island. You'll need to continue your impressive pace to get away from the fire arrows, and you also have the waterfall to contend with before too long.

You are still joint last but have closed the gap on the teams ahead of you.

Team S(t)inking Duckship - @KingoDuckingham(Ducky) & @Thalionwen

Roll 3:
Moves: 10
Damage: 0
Hit points: 13

Repairs are for wimps. The plucky Duckship floats on regardless, and despite a lack of apparent effort from her crew, she gains speed. You keep pace with Eaflaed, swinging round the bend, bouncing down the rapids, and into the favourable right-hand channel of the second island. The cheese wheel duck doesn't even take any further harm, the spongy fromage absorbing any potential damage. That might not last, as burning arrows threaten to turn your ship into fondue.

You are still joint last but are in touching distance of the teams ahead.

Team Drowned in the Rapids - @Queen Nerwen & @Balfur

Roll 3:
Moves: 8
Damage: -3
Hit points: 12

Drowned in the Rapids leaves the fast channel with its fish traps behind - no free meal I'm afraid - and gains even more speed as it floats past some startled washerwomen and takes off over the waterfall. Tumbling down, you splash ahead of the wardrobe, taking more damage in the process. You are now in a stretch of river surrounded by forest, with a logging camp in a clearing on the right-hand bank.

ALL TEAMS:

Once over the waterfall, you enter a forested area, where the water is clear and fast-flowing. Rotten piers and tree trunks, debris from the loggers, lie in the water beside the right hand bank. Further ahead, the river splits in three, providing the option of more rapids to the right, a bed of thick mud to the left, and an invitingly clear channel to the centre.

You are around halfway through the first stage, and the rest point is coming closer. But where are Rustbucket and his scoundrels and what have they up their sleeves next?

A REMINDER ON DAMAGE AND REPAIRS:

Each craft started with 20 HP. Damage may or may not be inflicted with each roll depending on sheer luck. If your craft reaches 0 HP, it sinks. Apparently this has never yet happened...

Players can elect to try to repair their craft on the go by sacrificing half their move points. When a rest point is reached, every team gains 5 HP. A craft's total HP can never exceed 20 points.

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Team Stinking Duckship

"NO REPAIRS!" Thalionwen shouted gleefully as she and her wizardly compatriot sustained damage, shot past a gaggle of slugs, and were peppered by flaming arrows. Entirely used to the overpowering odor of ripe fromage, Thalionwen pulled a pair of arrows free from the trusty Duckship and popped the melty, gooey end of one into her mouth.

"Fondue?" she asked Ducky, offering the second arrow to him. They were merrily floating past the second island now, old docks and tree trunks threatening to tear yet more of their delicious craft apart. It was, nevertheless, a lovely day for a sail, and Thalionwen could feel a song coming on. That would be the perfect outlet for pent up emotions caused by her personal drama in other areas of life!

Scrambling to the prow of the ship, she threw one arm around the neck of its large duck's head and bellowed her melody to the clear skies and the rapids.

"I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no Rohir flag above my door
I'm in love, and Mordor calls me

I plan to leave too much mess and
Destruction to come back again
And I'll cause nothing but trouble
I'd prefer it if you didn't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of it's over
Then this should all make sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no Rohir flag above my door
I'm in love, and Mordor calls me

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
Because my cheese shop
Will be here still
I'll walk right past
And hold my tongue
And you will see
That I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no Rohir flag above my door
I'm in love, and Mordor calls me."

"What did you think?" Thalionwen asked, turning to her trusty partner, Ducky. "Did that get the message across, or was I too vague?"

[Amhran]

Team Wyrd

Ahem. To the tune of The Man on the Flying Trapeze, Maestro:

They whizzed through the water, with the greatest of ease,
These daring old coots and their floating debris.
Their movements less graceful than those with the cheese,
But they hope they will yet be the best.

They bob through the rapids like a top-heavy eel,
The man with the spatula and the gal with the peel,
Their tub it is leaking but they're keeping it real,
I wonder if they're gonna sink.

A waterfall's coming, soon they'll be dead meat,
But they float past some women washing ruffles and pleats.
Amhran reaches out and she steals a bedsheet.
"Maybe we can use it as a sail?"

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Zarâm had made her way over to the edge of the river, staying well out of sight of the other spectators. It wouldn't do to be caught by any wayward Rohirrim. She could just make out the words to some song and unless her ears were deceiving her, that was Thalionwen's voice. It appeared that she had finally decided to announce to all of Rohan her love for Orco and her plans to move to the Black Lands.

And then, in her very off key voice (orcs were not known for carrying melodies after all), Zarâm began to encourage Thali, who appeared to be having the time of her life aboard the cheesy duck boat.

"You've got an orc in me
You've got an orc in me!
When your friends abandon you,
I'll be by your side
To help you go through
Just remember what your Zarâm has said
Gal, you've got an orc in me
Yeah, you've got an orc in me!

You've got an orc in me
You've got an orc in me.
When Taeth bothers you, she bothers me too
There ain't nobody I wouldn't kill for you
We'll stick together and will get you through
'Cause you've got an orc in me
Yeah, you've got an orc in me.

Some Rohir folks might think
You are a tiny bit crazy
And a bit off your rocker, maybe
But they ain't able to care for you
The way that I can, it's just us, gal
And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
Ruling Mordor is our destiny!
You've got an orc in me
You've got an orc in me,
Yeah, you've got an orc in me!"

Smiling with her hideous grin, Zarâm waved as the cheese craft passed rather quickly by, though by its appearance, it was slowly starting to become soggy cheese. "See you over the waterfall, if you don't eat your craft before then!" she shouted.

[KingODuckingham]

Team Stinking Duck-Ship

"NO REPAIRS!" the wizard shouted at the top of his lungs, then began spluttering as they were filled with water-foam by a particularly strong wave. He had wanted to say "To the finish line or to the bottom" but instead he just sort of gargled "toggvlblarghltoahghh". It would have to suffice; time waited for no one, even wizards who always showed up on time!

Thalionwen offered him some fondue when he recovered from coughing. He took it without a word and threw it out of the ship. It was not worth dignifying such a joke with a response. He proceeded to reach over each side of the boat in turn and grab the folded duck-cheese wings, then extend them out to their fullest extent. The boat could not actually fly, and to be honest if one thought about it too hard this probably made the craft less hydro-dynamic, but Team Stinking Duck-Ship was not in the business of thinking too hard. They were in the business of BELTING OUT SAILING SHANTIES. Ducky sang.

I can show you Helm's Deep
Shining, shimmering splendid
Tell me, Thali, now when did
you last let the boat decide?

I can open these wings
Take them feather by feather
Over sideways (not under)
On a magic cheese boat ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic kind of cheese
No one to tell us 'fix
Your boat or sink'
or say we're total loonies

At this point Ducky passed it off to his boat companion, feeling sure she would know just what to sing.

Thalionwen:

A whole new ship
A dazzling race I never knew
But now from way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a sinking boat with cheese
(Now I'm in a stinking boat with cheese! Ducky added in the back)

Unbelievable ducks
Indescribable paddles
Bumping, tumbling, careeening
Through an endless roaring stream
A whole new race
(Don't you dare stow your oar -Ducky shouted a bit crossly)
A hundred thousand bolts on fire
(Hold your breath—stops the choking -Ducky yelled quickly)
Boat's like a shooting star
We've come so far
We can't go back to make repairs to this

As the smoke began to clear, Ducky and Thali joined in victorious song together.

(A whole new race)
Every turn a surprise
(With first place finish to pursue)
Every paddle, stink-cheesy
BOTH:
I'll sail this anywhere
No time to repair
Let me sail this duck-cheese boat with you (A whole new race -Ducky added happily)
A whole new race -Thali replied.
(That's what we'll win)
That's what we'll win
(A thrilling chase)
Only first place
BOTH:
For you and me

As they finished the song and looked back, they could see what remained of the fiery arrows bursting like fireworks in the distance. Ducky pulled out an apple and offered it to Thalionwen, saying, "These go remarkably well with cheese. Trust me."

[Durien]

Team BurglarsAndBarrel-RidersWithLootAboard
NPC Léowine
@Calimir

Léowine dug the broom into the rushing water of the rapids as Cal recovered from the jarring that must have made the Gondorian see the seven stars Elendil had brought with the white tree. He knew that much about Gondorian lore from the stories his grandfather had told him while before they slept in the great hall around the fire. As far as personal experience with Gondorians, Léowine was pretty limited. Apparently, based on the goods in the front of their craft, they also had looser definitions of theft...

Their craft lurched and bounced in the rapids, but although they had come close to entering the rapids facing backwards, the fact that the log jam had slowed them down gave them the maneuverability they needed to avoid the worst of the damage through the rapids. In fact, they were getting pulled to the left, where the water ran clear and slowly through the reeds. Although they didn't need their poorly constructed craft to sustain more damaged, Léowine couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. He had been looking forward to the adrenaline rush of the rapids. Of course, there were plenty more rapids ahead, and their kegs were still taking damage, so there would be plenty of opportunities to drown in the very near future.

Some of the other teams had begun to sing, and Léowine liked the idea, although he liked drinking songs and rowdy upbeat tunes the best. A drinking song would be perfect, after all, they were bouncing around in kegs. "Know any good drinking songs we can turn into rafting songs, Cal?" He half yelled over the fading sound of the rapids. Since the sound echoed around in the kegs, the river itself was quite loud.

"You can keep your fancy boats,
You can float them down the rivers,
But the only canoe for the brave and true
Comes from a crew with damaged livers!"

The ending of his first refrain was accompanied by a dull thud as a leather clad arrow hit hard against the side of the the keg he was riding in. "Hey!" He cried, half in cheers, half in indignation at being targeted, and half yelling to his teammate. "I think Rustbucket is mad about something of those items you 'borrowed' earlier, Cal." He ducked into his barrel as another one went whizzing overhead. Being so close to the left bank and the accompanying reeds, they were easy targets. However, as he ducked into his barrel, the empty keg amplified another sound, a not-so-distant roar. "Brace yourself!" He yelled to Cal. "Waterfall, dead ahead!"

[Calimir]

Team Burglars & Barrels
Slower water. A chance to breathe and see what was what. Cal was without a paddle but Léowine was doing a great job of steering their tubs. Something fell in the reeds on their port side, a bit of smoke puffed into the air and then hot, hungry flames. Cal' was still trying to work this out when something dropped between his feet. PLOK! Something else landed in the front tub. Cal' looked down - a feathered arrow with a flaming tip lay between his boots. He grabbed it and tossed it overboard as he stamped on flames in his tub. The front tub was starting to smoke.

"Keep her steady!" he yelled to Léo. Scrambling out of his tub made their craft wobble and Cal' nearly followed the arrow overboard. Somehow he clung on and looked in horror as their stolen goods began burning. He pulled off a riding boot. It would hopefully make a good bailing tool, but it slipped out of his fingers and went bobbing of on the current. Off came his second boot. This one he held firmly. With Léowine singing cheerfully Cal's began to gather water as fast as he could and throw it into the bow tub. At last the flames were out but the contents looked pretty well toasted. "What's that?" he yelled at Léo as spray blinded him and a loud thundering filled his ears.

Hit Points 15

[Elvheimdros]

Musical round! Keeping with the flying theme:

Us magnificent pair in our barrel that floats
We spin round-wiggly-round-round
We float down river-down-down
We'll delight the spectators and steal the first prize -
Us magnificent pair in our barrel that floats!

Down - stream - racing to win
We've passed the first rapids,
scraped by fallen trees,
We'll - take - the fall as it comes -
Us magnificent pair in our barrel that floats!

Chorus

Sheet - sail - we'll hoist it aloft
Wrap an end round the pitchfork
And hold it out wide
One'll - have - to keep steering though -
Us magnificent pair in our barrel that floats!

[Gwai]

Team Minnow
Shivased and Gwai

The Minnow got a bit banged up over the rapids, and Gwai was worried she saw a leak. A bail bucket, in hindsight, would perhaps have been more useful than the flasks she had brought instead. Gwai shook her head to get her wet hair out of her eyes, and took a sip of said flask, offering the other one to Shivased. “The more we drink the less the Minnow will leak,” she said with a straight face.

A rain of fiery arrows came at them from the sides of the banks. Were those wildlings? Adding to the list of things Gwai hadn’t brought was her bow and shield. The Minnow was so wet at this point, though, it seemed unlikely it would start on fire. A few of the other teams had started singing, and some lyrics were quite interesting. Was that something about Mordor? She was definitely out of touch with the new songs, so she started singing a classic.


Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful race
That started from Edoras port
Aboard this tiny wardrobe.

The mate was a mighty sailing girl,
The skipper brave and sure.
Two crazy racers set sail that day
For a three hour race, a three hour race.

The Snowbourne started getting rough,
And arrows hot with fire,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost.

The ship kept on through rapids large and splashy,
With First Mate Gwai
Cap’n Shivased too,
A flask of wine
(or two)
No bail buckets,
And a chaise lounge
Here in the Bathtub Race!

[Aodh Hammerhelm]

NPC: Goldwhæt "Rustbucket" Dubhlaoich & “tame” Wildmen

The Wildmen’s opening gambit held Rustbucket speechless and rooted to the spot.

Dear Bema, thank the stars Silæs’s vote had overruled him at the Tub Race Planning A.G.M. The crusty sea-dog's original plan had been the drafting in of folk from the Stonewain Valley – in plain speak, Wood-wose. Rustbucket quivered as he pushed away a mental picture of the contestants writhing and shrieking in agony as poisoned arrows pierced their exposed flesh.

Volley after volley of flaming arrows zoomed out over the water. Most missed their mark, some dropped into approaching tubs, causing consternation amongst several crew. And then, as the fiery fusillade subsided, a strange thing happened: several Tubsters began singing as they hurtled passed their assailants.

“No real harm done!” Rusty cackled at his henchmen “They’re dealing with your arrows well enough. C’mon, more work to do!”

He leapt from his rock, and gave Bambu what he hoped was a stern reprimand and clear instruction:

“Bad, lad! Get your cart packed me hearty and hurry along as well as you’re able. There’s a path a mile or two ahead, follow it - not us! - and get yourself down to the beach. You’ll find Silæs and his lads there; give him a hand with what needs doing till we join you.”

Without giving Bambu a chance to argue Rustbucket hurtled off along the path. Kalumba, Ben and Bill sprinted close behind. Their bows were slung over their backs, but each now brandished fiendish looking pikes. Kalumba, as a mark of his chieftain-ship, gripped a curved sword between gritted teeth.

“And HALT!” Rusty hollered as they reached a set of islands below the disused logging camp. The trusty spy-glass probed upriver. “Not long now, lads,” Rustbucket chuckled. “I can see the leaders coming into view. Over you go now, and be gentle with them; they’ve got two stages to go yet.”

The Dunlendings leapt into the water and using deft strokes for such ungainly creatures swam out towards the islands. Rustbucket nodded with grim satisfaction as Bill and Ben scrambled onto the nearest isle. He tossed a smart salute over the water as Kalumba waved from the strand of the second.

Rusty only had three Wildmen at his disposal, but the narrow channels starboard, centre and port meant they’d be in striking distance of the approaching vessels.


NPC: Silæs ap Trōtter and his troupe of roustabouts

On a strand below the islands were Rustbucket Dooley’s Wildmen lurked, Silæs cast an appreciative eye over his troupe’s handiwork. A line of gaily coloured pavilions, six in all, stood in a neat line at the edge of a grove of willows. Before each tent a fire-pit had been laid in the sand; behind - out of eye-shot of the spectators - stood a barrel of water, a brazier and washing line.

Silæs’s real pride and joy were the booths erected on a greensward near the water’s edge. The first, of particular magnificence, had been erected in case the Lord and Lady of Rohan decided to join the proceedings. The second, bright scarlet, with a finely crafted table at its door had been set up for Rædbeard @Elarith .

Between the competitors’ accommodation, and that of the high and mighty, hogs and sheep twisted lazily upon spits over roaring fires. A huge iron cauldron of pottage – barley, wild garlic, oats and wild spinach – was on hand for those who’d taken up the weird fad of Elven-cuisine. A large counter containing kegs of ale, beer and wine of several vintages were also on hand for refreshment.

Closer to the waterline six neat heaps of equipment glinted in the evening light. Each had been carefully checked to ensure each team was equally provided for.

Rope and floats; mallets and studs; cork and pitch; old pots and pans plus several stout planks and poles were arranged in the first five piles. The sixth stack was puny by comparison and its contents of a quality ranging from just-about-do to absolute rubbish.

A flag upon a broomstick fluttered above this pathetic heap. A legend in gold paint shouted out a warning to future miscreants: “Team Burglar: Thieves will be PUNISHED!”

”Well done, lads and ladies,” Silæs hollered to his team of workers, “very well done. Now can everyone stand ready, please… blankets at the ready, please… plenty of ‘em. The teams will be here soon and we don’t want them catching colds now, do we!”

[Lirimaer]

Laewyn - Team Eaflaed (15 hp)

The dulcet tones of singing carried back across the water. And the other tones, too. It all carried really. Laewyn decided that if you can't beat them - and really it was looking like they would not be able to beat anyone, not even the strinking duckship, which was getting perilously close - then join them.

Wracking her brain for a moment, she began to compose some words to fir their predicament ... and then opened in song:

"Just a Rohir maid,
Livin’ in a grassland plain,
She took a neighbour’s boat goin’ downstreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam.

Just a Rohir boy,
Born and raised in Meduseld,
He took a homemade boat goin’ downstreeeeeee-yrrch!"

A particularly squishy apple hit her arm. She swept the mush and maggots off into the water and suddenly noticed they were actually going much faster, past the islet on the right, but more importantly, past the rude folk who compromised the crowd. "Did you see this, Éomund?" she shrieked delightedly, clearly renewed.

"Some saddles in a stable barn,
A coil of rope and tight buckling
For a while it can hold it tight
It goes on and on and on …"

Laewyn caught sight of the actual state of the raft as Eaflaed jiggled down the rapids. Maybe it wouldn't quite go on-and-on-and-on indefinitely. She steered into the fast-flowing right hand channel that curved around the second island, hoping to continue the pace, though her arms were getting stiffer. They might actually need to be a bit careful here, since there were dimwitted clowns on the banks who actually were trying to scupper them - at least, more careful than the guys eating their own melting cheeseship.

"Strangers, waiting,
Up and down the banks and shores
Food missiles flying through the air

Bullies, lurking,
Waiting just to damage vessels
Hiding, somewhere in the darrrrrrrrrrrrk

Punting hard, getting going,
Everybody’s criticisin’
But not everyone is gonna win –
There can be only one!

Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to waive the rules
Oh this journey never ends, it
Goes on and on and on and on … "

Laewyn tailed off as the some got repetitive. "Do you mind taking over?" she asked, as she came to a close. "My arms are tiring, and I think I could shield us from the fire arrows with the pans."

With as much carefulness as was possible on a floating thing made of lots of saddles all loosening from one another, she passed the pole to Éomund.

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Éomund - Team Eaflaed (15 hp)

Participants on many of the crafts had begun to burst out in song. Éomund couldn't make everything out, they were much to far in back for that, but it sounded as if everyone were enjoying themselves. The punting seemed to greatly improve their speed however and they had regained a substantial amount of ground. As Laewyn continued to use the pole to help gain some ground, she began to sing and what a song it was that very accurately described their current adventures.

When she was done, Laewyn handed him the pole and he carefully moved over to take over the pushing. "Hopefully your pans help to keep the flaming arrow off our boat. I'd hate to think what the fire would do to the leather."

As he began to push, Éomund too felt a song coming on. It wouldn't hurt to join in the musical fest that this tub race had turned into.

"If everybody had a river
Across the Rohirrim
Then everybody'd be puntin'
Like you and me!

You'll see us throwing our paddles
Getting everything wet
Our hair's blowing everywhere
Puntin' Rohirrim.

You'd catch 'em puntin' at Snowbourne
Down the lovely Entwash
Edoras and Isen
And down in Harad

All over the lands
And in Gondor mountains
Everybody's gone puntin'
Puntin' Rohirrim

We're all headed down these rivers
We're gonna get real wet
We're sanding down our poles
We can't wait for Narie

We'll be swimmin' for the summer
We're adventuring always
Tell the ruler we're puntin'
Puntin' Rohirrim

At Gladden and Ciril
Down the Anduin
Brandywine and Limlight
Snowbourn, Edoras

All over the Nimrodel
And in the Grey Havens
Everybody's gone puntin'
Puntin' Rohirrim

Everybody's gone puntin'
Puntin' Rohirrim
Everybody's gone puntin'
Puntin' Rohirrim"

He sang as he continued to carefully push the Eaflaed down the river and hopefully steering clear of the flaming arrows.

[Shivased]

Team Minnow - 15 hp

One of them had jinxed things, definitely. Or probably just both of them together. Because after the rather successful trip past the spectators they went flying through rapids, bouncing off rocks and things, which left some damage to the old wardrobe in it's wake. Well, looks like that didn't go quite as planned, but it was fun! she shouted to Gwai above the noise of the water and pushing her hair, now damp from the spray of the rapids, out of her face.

It seemed their luck wasn't turning, and although they were past the small island and the traps, their steering skills - or probably lack of them - took them straight into where some washerwomen were working. They were tangled immediately in the sheets and other clothing that was being washed and pelted with angry shouts and insults from the working women. Sorry! Sorry! she shouted back at them, trying desperately to untangle things as their momentum slowed. Something wet smacked her in the face andShivased looked around to find an angry woman with a handful of dish rags, one of which was in her lap now. Now that's not even nice! she shouted. If you don't want your washing interrupted, don't do your washing when you know a race is happening! Slightly angry now, she yanked on the sheet she had been trying to disentangle and pulled it into the wardrobe, ignoring the angry shout of the woman who had thrown the dish rag at her. Thank you! We'll return this if we don't need it, at the end of the race!

She didn't get much more out of her mouth before they were off and tumbling over the waterfall, which she had NOT seen coming thanks to everything else going on. A very un-marshal-like scream escaped her as they plummeted about as gracefully as a rock, landing hard. She had to drop her paddle and grab hold of the sides of the wardrobe to escape being tossed out on landing. Once she knew they were safe she burst out laughing, and rang out the shirt of the old Cavalry uniform she wore, which was completely soaked now.

Once they were away from the waterfall and into somewhat calmer waters, she went to take a swig of mead from her flask when a hail of flaming arrows descended towards them. What in the name of Bema! she cried, reaching for a shield that she realized belatedly wasn't there. Obviously bad forethought on their part, but who expected flaming arrows during a bathtub race! Was Rustbucket losing his mind!? A few choice thoughts raced through her mind as she raised the only thing she had - the wooden paddle - and ducked down as low as possible. A hard impact and a loud 'thunk' told her at least one had hit her makeshift paddle.

When the hail of arrows seemed to have passed, she lifted her head again and glanced at Gwai incredulously while at the same time dipping the paddle into the water to extinguish the arrow, then tugging it out and tossing it to the bottom of the wardrobe. Seriously? Flaming arrows? Is Rustbucket losing his mind!? What's next? Wargs!?

[Elarith]

AHOY TUBSTERS!

The end of the first stage is in sight! Just a bit further and you can rest and repair - if you and your craft can hold out that long...

Team Wyrd - @Elvheimdros & @Amhran

Roll 4:
Moves: 4
Damage: -4
Hit points: 10

You snag a sheet from the washerwomen, who shake their fists angrily at you, and head on to the waterfall with your new sail. Now there's something there that wasn't there before, and the sail acts as a parachute and you float gently down into the pool below, all momentum gaston. You bob along past the loggers, get bashed about along the rapid right-hand channel, and finally reach the camp where you can be our guest. Somewhere along the way you have sustained another chunk of damage to your craft.

Team Burglars and Barrel-riders - @Durien (Léowine) & @Calimir(Callimdir)

Roll 4:
Moves: 9
Damage: -3
Hit points: 12

Though your feet are bare out of necessity, the boot makes a decent scoop and you get away with fairly minor damage to your keg from the fire arrows. Your craft hits the current nicely and shoots over the waterfall, causing other teams to mutter that they wanna be like you as you rocket ahead into the left-hand channel.

Only a short way through a very muddy stretch of water and then you reach the camp, where you can rest and recover with some help from Silæs and others. Because hey, that's what friends are for.

Team Minnow - @Gwai & @Shivased

Roll 4:
Moves: 3
Damage: -5
Hit points: 10

You poor, unfortunate souls. The Minnow has clearly slowed down - maybe there is some significant damage below the waterline? You creep past the loggers, and float into the central channel which appears calm and trouble-free. But with a lack of luck that is part of your world right now, of course there are nets for les poissons that you need to avoid.

You struggle into the rest camp, thankful that you are not yet under the sea, and that Rusty hasn't got hold of any wargs- yet.

Team Eaflaed - @Lirimaer (Laewyn) & @Dimcairien Luiniel (Éomund)

Roll 4:
Moves: 7
Damage: -6
Hit points: 9

You continue to pick up speed, poling over the waterfall where Eaflaed takes off lightly. Unfortunately she lands like a lead boot, taking significant damage. She's definitely a fixer upper now. But she's still floating, down past the logging camp where you can really let it go, and through the central channel to the rest camp.

There are worse places to be in summer than a camp with food, tents and rivercraft-building supplies. Do you wanna build a new raft altogether?

Team Stinking Duckship - @KingoDuckingham(Ducky) & @Thalionwen

Roll 4:
Moves: 5
Damage: -2
Hit points: 11

The washerwomen can only gap in wonder and gibber nonsense like "Chim chimeree, what is that?" as you pass. No matter - you have soon left them behind, the Duckship spreading magnificent cheesy wings and swooping from the top of the waterfall like you would go fly a kite! Past the loggers you go, at a steady rate, but you do take some damage when the cheese becomes a tasty treat to feed the birds with. You squelch along the muddy left channel, and eventually make it to the camp.

Here you can rest and do some needed repairs. A spoonful of sugar wouldn't go amiss either.

Team Drowned in the Rapids - @Queen Nerwen & @Balfur

Roll 4:
Moves: 6
Damage: -2
Hit points: 12

You continue making steady progress, out in front as if you just can't wait to be king of the Tub Race. You crunch on a couple of rotten piers jutting from the water by the logging camp, but get away quite lightly, before being swept towards another set of rapids in the right-hand channel. Hakuna matata, as they might say if it was a phrase which had any meaning. Thankfully Drowned in the Rapids doesn't seem to want to complete the circle of life just yet, and you limp into the rest camp.

ALL TEAMS:

Well done! You have made it to the first rest camp, some more intact than others. Take a break, make what repairs you can, and prepare yourselves for more singing stage 2!

A REMINDER ON DAMAGE AND REPAIRS:

Each craft started with 20 HP. Damage may or may not be inflicted with each roll depending on sheer luck. If your craft reaches 0 HP, it sinks. Apparently this has never yet happened...

Players can elect to try to repair their craft on the go by sacrificing half their move points. When a rest point is reached, every team gains 5 HP. A craft's total HP can never exceed 20 points.

[Aodh Hammerhelm]

NPC: Goldwhæt "Rustbucket" Dubhlaoich & “tame” Wildmen

The Wildmen’s second ambush had descended from ferocity to farce:

Bill and Ben hooted and hollered without much enthusiasm as the Tubsters bore down on the twin islands. The pair’s war-dance, akin to a kiddies’ gambol at a Summer Fair, was in no way frightening and their plywood pikes, soaked during their swim, drooped like wilted sunflowers. They offered a pathetic challenge to the craft headed for the right channel of the river.

Kalumba, on the far isle, was another prospect entirely. Rusty’s brow furrowed in alarm as his spy-glass focused on the chief’s weapon. Folca’s toððen porse! Ash and iron – where’d he get that from!

Drowned in the Rapids hove into view. The pike flew from the chieftain’s arm and wobbled across the water towards the already battered craft. Kalumba leapt into the air, proscribing a natty somersault. He landed with a jolt, sword springing from his clenched teeth.

And now, most terrifying of all, he bent to retrieve it and inadvertently mooned good ships Elflæd, Burglar and Stinking Duck.

[KingODuckingham]

Team Stinking Duck-Ship

All was right with the world. They were whirling on and through the rapids, and the fire arrows had not succeeded in doing more than surface damage to their mighty duck-shaped vehicle. Indeed, as the fires died down, Nature returned to take her rightful place at their side. In this case, Nature meant a whole bunch of ducks looking for a free handout of food. Ducky was delighted to give it to them.

"Please, take of our cheese-boat." he told the little ducklings. "I love you more than life itself. You are everything to me. Feed and be glad, my little grasshoppers. I mean ducklings. Whatever, you know what I mean."

And so, as the wingspan of the ship spread majestically across the stream, the sides of the cheese wheel were whittled away. Ducky and his fearless co-captain were completely unconcerned. All that mattered was coming in first...or bust. Whatever happened, it was guaranteed to be spectacular.

"NO REPAIRS" he reminded Thalionwen, and he expected her to remind him as well. Such was the pact that they had made.

Wait, was that a moon? No, no, it had to be a space station, he told himself. He tried to shake himself out of those thoughts as quickly as possible. It would not do to be distracted during an incoming moment of triumph.

[Calimir]

Team Burglars & Barrels

"Waterfall..." was the last thing Cal' heard for a while. Léowine and his voice and the world vanished in a thunder of water. Cal' held on to his barrel sides as their keg ship whizzed into thin air. The craft landed hard, Cal' saw stars again. When his head had cleared he saw they were now in slow moving water and that he had lost his second boot in the fall. He managed to grab a piece of broken tub. It would do as an oar - maybe.

"I can't see any of the other tubs, but I can see the Rest Camp," he called to his team mate. "And... What?!" Cal' fell silent as the jiggling bottom of a wild man appeared before them. This was only part one of the race. Would the nightmare never end?"

HIT POINTS = 12

[Lirimaer]

Laewyn - Team Eaflaed - 9hp

Laewyn worked like a maniac, fending off fire arrows and keeping the pontoon safe - well, safer than it would have been on fire, anyway. She did manage to keep fire off the boat, but some of the ropes suffered a little and that would need repair. She was getting used to the undulating feel of the reactionary leather saddles, and thought, perhaps with a little more rope to tie them more securely, and perhaps something strong as a frame, it could be repaired really well. Éomund was clearly used to it as well, since he was punting them along to a jaunty geographical tune, which helped him keep a strong rhythm and a fast pace. She'd often thought she'd like to see the Nimrodel, and the other Elvish places of legend...

It was with these thoughts swirling in her mind that they hit the waterfall at full tilt. It was magnificent how Eaflaed sailed majestically over the top, and floated like a giant leather butterfly before plunging down to land like a soggy pancake released too soon.

She and Éomund hit the deck as if fallen in battle, and it took a few moments to recover, since Eaflaed was just spinning under the water fall. Somehow they managed to get their acts together and pushed, sculled and panned their way out of the danger zone, but the damage was serious. Laewyn felt like she was basically holding parts of the raft together and she was unsure of Éomund's feelings.

Since the current was taking them on their way without any help, easily passing the logging camp, she took a breath and asked a big question.

"What do you think, now we're approaching the rest stop? Do we repair our poor ship, or start over?"

She laid her hand on the leather, wet, but still functional - saddles were strong. They just needed to be more strongly attached to each other, especially if the race organisers thought fire arrows were a fair hazard.

[Elvheimdros]

As they tipped over the edge of the waterfall, Elvh felt his feet leave the bottom of the barrel as the sheet-turned-sail he was holding bellyed out above him. He grabbed the edge of the barrel as they drifted down the falls, but then the brief respite was over and the barrel hit the water again and jarred barrel and sheet out of his hands. He caromed into Amhran behind him, then the sheet came down on top of everything.

They'd just about worked free of entanglements - who only knew where they'd been in the meantime, but the barrel seemed to be leaking worse than ever - when strong and hopefully friendly hands pulled them ashore. Mmm, warm blankets, and the smell of food, glorious food. But first to pull out all the now-soaked implements from the barrel and up-end it to hopefully dry.

After a bite to eat they came back to set up their craft for the next leg. A couple of the staves had cracked and could be replaced, and the whole barrel rubbed down with pitch for waterproofing. And then it was just a matter of rigging the sail a little more... permanently, and waiting for stage two to begin.

[Amhran]

"OOF!" Amhran grunted as the barrel hit the water and her sailing partner was thrown against her. They were able to regain balance as the barrel righted itself and ceased to bob quite so alarmingly, but by then the sheet had enveloped them in a damp cocoon. The two of them tried to claw it off their heads but for a while only succeeded in wrapping themselves more and more thoroughly in its folds, until they looked to the outside world like a pair of rare Egyptological specimens. They had finally managed to get their heads and arms free when their barrel grated on sand and Silaes ap Trotter's men helped them out and finished untangling them. "Well!" said Amhran brightly as she emerged from her wrappings, "that went well. I thought we were going to die."

Warm food, hot fires to sit next to and dry off, a genial host to whom they gave their heartfelt thanks, and a pile of implements for fixing their craft. Amhran hung the sheet to dry while they patched and waterproofed their barrel and fixed a pole in the barrel to act as a mast.

The next stage was before them, and Wyrd was as seaworthy as she was ever going to get.

[Gwai]

Team Minnow

Gwai shook her head. Had she jinxed them with her singing? There was a reason she joined the cavalry and had not gone on stage instead. The Minnow sailed over the waterfall, landing with a decidedly ungraceful splash. The chaise lounge was soaking wet, and probably was weighing the Minnow down unnecessarily as the craft (ship was too generous a word) slowed down significantly.

Thanks to some desperate paddling, Shivased and Gwai made it into the relatively calm center channel, which seemed as if they would be able to avoid trouble for at least a bit. There was a rest stop coming up. "Do you think we should take out the chaise lounge when we stop?" Gwai asked Shivased, the Minnow barely moving despite the current. "The extra weight is probably slowing us down, although it's really nice to have something comfortable to sit on," she said mournfully. Suddenly she straightened up. "Oh no," she groaned. "There's fish nets up ahead," she said, using her paddle to point. "With our luck we're probably going to get caught on them," she said ruefully, shaking her head. "We could try paddling closer to the bank," she suggested.

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Éomund - Team Eaflaed - 9hp

As he was singing and punting, Laewyn did an excellent job of keeping their craft from catching on fire. But, the fire arrows were the least of their worries at this point. Right as his epic solo finished, Éomund realised they were about to plummet over a rather large waterfall. For a moment, it seemed as if they were flying before suddenly the craft dropped like a stone down into the water beneath the fall, where he, Laewyn, and the Eaflaed became promptly soaking wet as they were directly underneath the flood for a few moments. It was a miracle the ship hadn't sunk at that point.

"I think she's losing her seaworthiness," Éomund said as soon as he had finished spitting water out of his mouth. Trying to get the water out of his eyes was another matter entirely as there wasn't a dry thing he could rub them with. It was clear Laewyn agreed with this statement as she mentioned stopping at the rest point to try and repair what they could.

"That sounds like an excellent idea," Éomund replied. "The saddles are holding together quite nicely, but if we want it to stay together and not attempt to barrel-ride a saddle, we'll need some stronger rope to hold her together to the end. And I could use a bite to eat."

[Durien]

Team PiratesoftheSnowbourneWithTheRumAndLootGone
NPC Léowine
@Calimir

Léowine watched as the stolen tar lit up the front of their floating keg contraption. Cal immediately went to work drowning out the flames, and although now bootless, it was thanks to his teammate that their half burnt craft made it to the waterfall with disintegrating into total ash. So much for their plunder. Steering with his broom while singing like a mad pirate, they managed to hit a swift current just in time to shoot over the waterfall. "Here we goooooooo!" He yelled as the adrenaline surged through him the way the waters surged over the falls and carried them along. They landed with a hard splash, much to the his mad delight. Water shot through the air and drenched him. "Weeeellll, that was fun." He commented with a wide grin to his teammate who was looking a bit dazed.

Almost immediately after, they sank into the muck of the river. Although the songs had ceased for the most part, the refrains of one song in particular echoed in his head and he couldn't help but change to the lyrics to fit his particular situation.

"Now I'm the king of the Snowbourne, the water V.I.P
I reached the top and had to stop
And that's what bothering me
I want to be a champion, and sail right into the lead
And be just like those other racers
I'm tired of floating around
Now don't try to tease me, Ulmo, I'll make a deal with you
What I desire is to get out of this mire to make my dreams come true
So give me the secret, Ulmo, clue me what to do
Give me an hour of water power, so I can be like you

Ooh-bi-doo, I wan'na be like you
I want to walk like you, talk like you, too
You see it's true, an Rohir like me
Can learn to be like you, too"

Léowine's voice trailed off as he glimpsed the bottom which had silenced and left his river faring companion speechless. That wasn't a sight he needed to see. He groaned inwardly as he caught the flag denoting their ramshackle supply pile, clearly whittled down to the bottom of the barrel. Oh well, at least they had some supplies with which they could repair their craft as they rested with the all of the other teams before continuing on their way. At least their half burned keg craft hadn't taken on as much serious damage as some of the other tubs, or contraptions, that some of the other teams had.

Stumbling onto the shore, he lit a small fire for them to dry off, dumped any remaining water out of their craft, then set to work doing his best to repair the damage that he could with the supplies in their pile. It was a shame there wasn't any rum or ale, he could do for a stiff drink or two. Next time, he'd have to attach a full keg to their keg craft. Once finished, he had a few minutes to rest by the fire and nibble on the few sticks of old jerky he had found in one of his pockets while he dried off. He offered one to Cal then dozed off for a minute or two, waking in plenty of time to start pulling the craft back into the river to continue with the race. As they pushed off, he grinned back at the bootless Cal. "Ready for round two?"

[Thalionwen Hunigfolm]

Thalionwen, Team Stinking Duckship


"No repairs," Thali solemnly repeated back to Ducky as they carried on past the rapids and the logging camp.

"Oo, babies!!!" she cooed, as a flock of ducks approached and began nibbling at the boat. Following Ducky's lead, Thali happily tore chunks of cheese from their vessel to feed the eager birds. They paddled about, squabbling and quacking, and Thali let out a contented sigh.

But then she caught Ducky staring blankly into the sky, at a perfectly ordinary half moon.

"Is there...something wrong with it?" Thali asked. She reached out and broke off a handful of waterlogged boat for herself. "You know, they say the moon's made of green cheese. And I think they're right--it looks just like it."

[Aodh Hammerhelm]

NPC: Silæs ap Trōtter (tub wrangler extraordinaire)

Silæs had counted them all out and he’d counted them all in. He’d jotted down the order of arrival of each craft as his roustabouts rushed blankets to the bedraggled Tubsters. Jocko and Timmo had helped the competitors get dry; Sloe and Mo had led them to their tents and served them warm food.

The contestants appeared better for a night’s rest, their crafts, however, were in serious need of some TLC.Yes, repairs were essential if the teams hoped to make the mad journey down the Entwash and reach the finish line.

Silæs took a long look downstream of the start line. The Snowbourn seemed tranquil enough, but a hundred yards away waves and eddies broke the water surface as the river joined the fast flowing Entwash. Repairs! That was the key to victory.

He turned, intent on handing the Leader Tally to Rædbeard@Elarith , but paused as he noticed Rustbucket in earnest conversation with the band of tame Wildmen. Rusty was gesticulating with abandon at the three fellows that hunkered before him.

“Silæs-sir, you help me, yes?” Bambu stood beside him, chunky hands upon the handle of his rickety cart.

“Help you? Of course what do you need?” The Wildman leaned in close and whispered his wish-list.

“Yes," Silæs said, "I have most of that ready… It’s over yonder behind your bivouac. I’ve little planed wood spare, but I've set aside some good stout logs and spars of year old ash. No springs though I’m afraid! I hadn’t thought we’d need ‘em. You’ll have to make do with rope - I have it aplenty. Hustle over to Jocko and Timmo, they’ll fetch you a roll or two.”

Bambu bowed and clapped his hands before lumbering off.

Rusty’s up to something!

Silæs smiled a broad smile as he made his way towards Rædbeard’s pavilion. He’d love to know just what the crusty mariner had up his sleeve, but knowing would ruin the moment the cunning plan was sprung on the unwitting competitors.

[Calimir]

Team PiratesoftheSnowbourneWithTheRumAndLootGone @Durien alais Léowine

Cal' had felt pretty bad when he saw Team Burglars pile of repair material. The flag with its message was also very embarrassing. He didn't know how to apologies to Léowine. His team mate had put in a lot of effort during the first stage of the race and they had made a good finish. Their triple tub needed some repairs and that would put them in with a chance of winning the Tub Challenge. But Cal's thieving had cost them dearly.

Léowine had started working immediately on their tub repairs. He'd worked all night without sleep or food. To try and make up for things Cal had collected and carried things, doing the heavy lifting and let Léo get the craft ready. To embarrassed to apologise and not really knowing what to say Cal' had kept quiet and finally slipped off to see if he could find anything that would help them on the next leg.

He bumped into Silaes and was surprised when the old fellow gave him a wink. He was even more surprised when the tubman said Nice work Mister Thief. You showed a bit of ingenuity there. Pity you got caught. With that the old fellow had handed him a pair of leather shoes and a bag.

The bag had a pot for bailing, a bucket of nails with a hammer, a pot of pitch with a brush and a piece of wood carved as a horse head.From the old cavalry pub. the old man chuckled, may it bring you luck. Cal' thanked the old man and thanked him again when he handed him a basket. Your friends been busy all night. Make sure he eats and drinks something before you set off.

This is why Cal' stood smiling in the sunrise and looking out at the river. We're in with a chance now! he felt like shouting. He ran up to the triple tub. "Hey Léo, I've got some repair stuff and breakfast and ale for you. No, don't frown, none of it is stolen!"

[Elarith]

Elarith Rædbeard had been up with the sun, assessing the weather conditions for the day ahead. All six teams had survived yesterday's first stage, and with some decentish food in them, some sleeps, and rudimentary repairs done to each craft, they would be ready to go. How did you repair a giant cheese duck, she wondered. Well that wasn't in her remit, that was down to Silæs and his crew. She was just there for the paperwork, free food and the jazzy tent they'd given her.

With paperwork on her mind, she bumped into Silæs. "Ah, the leader board, great! Thanks, Silæs, I'll get it pinned up for the teams." She took the roll of parchment from him, and cast around. A lone willow stood beside the last of the tents. With a nail and hammer borrowed from one of the repair piles, she stuck it to the tree trunk:



When Rædbeard looked round again, Silæs was off talking to one of Rusty's wild boys. What on Arda was the old soak planning? She shut her eyes at the awful memory of the race end yesterday. It was just as well her breakfast was well digested. Some things you could never unsee.

A yellow flag was flying next the Team Drowned in the Rapids tent, as the team that had finished first. This would make them a nice target for the other teams. But she hadn't seen the dwarves @Queen Nerwen or @Balfur about since the end of the first stage. Maybe they were having a good rest, and if they were she couldn't blame them. Who knew what today had in store?

With the teams refreshed, it was time to set them on their way again. The dreaded conch was squatting there on her desk, oozing malice. Rædbeard glared at it. She'd tried taking it into the willows earlier to sneak in some practice but all she'd managed to do was make sounds similar to if she was having intestinal problems. Still, the teams were assembled at the start, and she would have to try. She seized the conch, took a mighty breath, and blew.

pppeeewww-eeeep!

A glass shattered, horses shied, and dogs started barking. It may well have been a record for the highest-pitched sound ever heard along the Snowbourne. But at least it was heard this time.

AHOY TUBSTERS!

This is the second and final stage! Throw caution to the wind, throw the kitchen sink at it, throw another team under the cart if you can - whatever you can do to catch a break and win.

Team Wyrd - @Elvheimdros & @Amhran

Roll 5:
Moves: 9
Damage: -2
Hit points: 13

Your new sail is a brilliant addition as the river heads into the flatter lands. With a good breeze you have a fair start, and you hold stable as the Snowbourne joins the Entwash. You are driven to the left around a large, round island, where the water is shallower. Horseherds graze by the water's edge on the left. You are neck and neck with Team Pirates and Team Minnow - can you, or would you, do anything to get an advantage over them?

Team Pirates with Plunder - @Durien (Léowine) & @Calimir(Callimdir)

Roll 5:
Moves: 9
Damage: -4
Hit points: 13

The river goes on and on, until it reaches the Great Sea. Thankfully you don't have to go that far, but the nightmare will continue a little longer. You make a good start, rolling down the Snowbourne but hit choppier waters where it meets the Entwash and take a chunk of damage. Still, you struggle on, into the calmer water of the left-hand bend around the island. Horse herds look on as you approach. You are neck and neck with Team Wyrd and Team Minnow, possibly within sabotaging range...

Team Minnow - @Gwai & @Shivased

Roll 5:
Moves: 9
Damage: -3
Hit points: 12

You, too, make a decent start to this final stage, Minnow bobbing like a cork down the first stretch of river, then heading left around the big island. You fair less well in the shallow water, though, and scrape off the riverbed a few times, doing some damage. The horse herds watch from the left-hand bank with interest as you draw level with Team Wyrd and Team Pirates - could you turn this to your advantage?

Team Eaflaed - @Lirimaer (Laewyn) & @Dimcairien Luiniel(Éomund)

Roll 5:
Moves: 10
Damage: -2
Hit points: 12

You manage to lash Eaflaed a bit tighter, and she holds well as you re-enter the Snowbourne and splash down it to the Entwash. The rough water of the confluence bashes your raft about somewhat. Strong currents then catch you and pull you into the right-hand channel around the island, away from the other craft, along the deeper, potentially more treacherous side...

Team Stinking Duckship - @KingoDuckingham(Ducky) & @Thalionwen

Roll 5:
Moves: 11
Damage: -5
Hit points: 11

Don't look yet, but you are actually in the lead. The remains of the Duckship have been aerodynamically planed by the nibbling ducklings, and you rocket past the other five craft, into the left-hand channel. However, this speed has come at a cost, as it has basically undone all the repair work done at the rest camp. Still, you're ahead, floating past bemused horses as you come towards the end of the island.

Team Drowned in the Rapids - @Queen Nerwen & @Balfur

Roll 5:
Moves: 7
Damage: -1
Hit points: 14

Hmm, it could be that the yellow flag is cursed. Drowned in the Rapids is slower to get off the mark than the rest, and tails along in the wake of the other craft. You come through pretty much unscathed, and float into the left-hand channel past the island, a little way back from the three teams in front.

ALL TEAMS:

Once past the island, a boggy fetid stretch awaits followed by a forest with lots of low-hanging branches and unpleasant occupants. Lovely. The river then splits again to go round a long, narrow island.

You are about a third of the way through the stage.

[Lirimaer]

Laewyn - Team Eaflaed - 12hp

It was rather nice to have a hot meal and a hot drink and feel the solidity of the ground underneath her for a while. She even took some time out to find the chap with the bar in his pony-trap, and to her delight Honey Butter was with him, clearly living her best life, so the man had evidently been spending her coin on her darling. She had a quick chat with him, but that was all there was time for, since she had to go and help Éomund fix their poor vessel before it became less river beauty and more river garbage.

Éomund was already organising some excellent rope by the looks of it. "Is that Elvish rope?" she asked, feeling the softness thereof. "Where did you get that?"

Together they made the Eaflaed more secure, threading some broom handles (heads still attached) in through the centre panels for strength. They left the outer edges flexible for potential crashing into others or the bank.

It seemed so much better when they got underway, less like sailing a mattress anyway. They seemed to be making good time, and she'd been surprised by their position at the rest point, although they were still well behind the leaders, who got an early send off. She continued punting forward, heading for the next checkpoint.

"Here we go," Laewyn shouted as the Snowbourne merged with the Entwash. "Ohhhhwhoaaaaa! This is fast! I can't pull her round-" Her efforts only seemed to spin the boat further, and even trying to jam the pole into the river bottom to slow them wasn't working. Nothing they did seemed to work. She didn't want to break the ladder pole, so brought it into the raft, grabbing pans and trying to slow down their headlong descent, but even that little squall had caused damage - two saddles at the front had been pushed out of their aerodynamic position and she couldn't get them back into position whilst bobbing on the water.

By now they were out in the middle of the river, and the current had them in its grip, taking them far from the safety of the left side of the island, straight into the fast-flowing unknown of the right-hand side.

"The current's got us, Éomunnnnnnnd ... we're going right!" she yelled. "Hold on!"

Everyone else appeared to be in total control, going left, but they were having a bit of a disaster. She saved her breath and grabbed one of her homemade ties, tying it round her waist and knotting either end to a different pommel. It'd work or not, but she was staying on the ship.

[Aodh Hammerhelm]

NPC: Goldwhæt "Rustbucket" Dubhlaoich & “tame” Wildmen

”So it’s come to this, has it?” the crusty mariner growled as he gazed upon the truculent trio hunkered at his feet. “Mutiny!” Kalumba, Bill and Ben returned his stare and remained still and silent. “I’d expected it of course… not this early though.”

The crusty mariner kicked at the strand in frustration, spraying sand into Bill and Ben’s surly faces: “What have you to say for yourselves you treacherous culls? Is it not enough that Cele and Tari spared you when they should have slain you? Is it not enough that I’ve treated you like my own kin down the years?”

A loud cough brought an end to the enraged seadog’s tirade.

“I tell them we not work for no-no's,” Kalumba said, squaring his chiefly shoulders.
“Payment is it?” Rusty said. “Well, yes I suppose that’s fair… A third now, and the rest when the race is done!”

He produced a pouch from his grimy belt and shook some coin into his equally grubby palm. “Here…”

Into each of the Wildmen’s cupped hands he dropped four silver coins, pieces of eight whole and shiny. As a sweetener he added a gold doubloon to the Chieftain’s stash. Kalumba frowned and lowered twitching nostrils to the coins, then set his sharpened teeth to the doubloon. Bill and Ben followed suit, their teeth rasping horribly upon the pieces of eight.

“No! No!” Rusty clucked. “They’re for buying, not eating!”
“We no buy, we want eat,” Kalumba said, rubbing his belly. “Drink too, lots of… The hot kind: Make fire in Wildman - make him do brave things!”
“Ah,” the crusty mariner said with some relief, reclaiming his precious coins. “That can be arranged. Come along, we need to get a move on the race is about to restart!”

A short while later Rustbucket and party joined Bambu on an island down stream. Bill and Ben staggered up under the weight of two sacks of roasted hog and three kegs of liquor, Kalumba stood gazing back up river.

“Is it done?” Rusty asked Bambu as the rest of the party began divvying up the food and grog. Bambu gestured proudly to the contraption that stood alongside his rickety cart. “Fabulous!” Rusty said sarcastically. “Is the shot prepared? Is it on your cart? I suppose I best inspect it to make sure it’s safe to fire!”

The crusty mariner’s sarcasm was lost on Bambu, who stood happily munching a hog-leg as Bill and Ben chuckled and capered around the ramshackle catapult their comrade had constructed.

The shot for the weapon was piled high upon Bambu’s cart, a load large enough to lay siege to a small castle. Rusty examined the arsenal closely. The ammo hadn’t been exchanged by the Wildmen, the shot Silæs had prepared in Edoras – gourds, turnips and ‘taters cunningly painted to look like rock and stone – sparkled in the morning light.

“What?” Rustbucket found Kalumba at his side holding a brimming mug. Five hundred yards upriver the squawk of the conch sounded.

“You drink, friend Rusty. We get ready for war?”
”Oh, go on then, just the one,” the old seadog grinned.

He drained the tankard in a single swallow, tears springing in his rheumy eyes as the uisce blazed down his throat. Through his tears he saw the Tubsters whizzing towards them:

Team Duck roared down the port-side channel closely followed by Minnow, Wyrd and Team Burglar. Drowned in the Rapids was not far behind, and over starboard Rusty caught a glimpse of SS Eaflæd.

“Open fire! Fire at will!” he hollered at his Wild-crew. “Hammer them lads! Hammer them good and proper… Make every shot count when they wallow in the mire ahead!”

----------

@Gwai @Shivased @Calimir @Durien @Elvheimdros @Amhran @Lirimaer @Dimcairien Luiniel
@KingODuckingham @Thalionwen @Queen Nerwen @Balfur

[Amhran]

Amhran plucked a blade of grass growing low over the bank as they went by and chewed it thoughtfully. "Hey Elvh. Think we could spook those horses toward the other craft? Might slow them enough to give us a little more of a lead." She dove into the bottom of the barrel to retrieve one of the spatulas, which she held against the side of the Wyrd, twisting the shiny metal this way and that to catch the sunlight and flash it in the eyes of the horses.

As she did so, something dense collided with her shoulder, nearly causing her to drop the spatula. It was a potato. Looking up she saw the entire fleet was being peppered with vegetable shot. "Oh, no, not them AGAIN!" As the potatoes, onions, tomatoes, and other produce thudded into their barrel, Amhran began gathering them into her helmet, scooping up a bit of water with them, and wondering if they could manage a fire in the bottom of the barrel without setting the whole craft ablaze. Soup sounded good, and she had even brought a couple extra bottles of beer from the overnight camp to go with that bottle opener.

(OOC: Sorry about the dramatic edit; I made the mistake of trying to write last night when I was so tired I couldn't think. So hopefully this moves things along a bit better.)

[Gwai]

Team Minnow

Gwai and Shivased brought the Minnow, or what was left of it, at least, into the rest camp. Gwai stood up and stretched. "I'm not cut out for this," she told Shivased as she jumped into the knee deep water to pull the boat onto the bank. "Give me a horse any day," she added, knowing her partner probably felt the same way. "I do think we should take the chaise lounge out, though," she said regretfully. "Maybe we could salvage the cushions and sit on those!" It was better than nothing for her poor backside. She didn't know how she could sit in the saddle all day without a thought, but a day's trip on the river, and she had all sorts of aches and pains. Surely it had nothing to do with age.

The rest stage over, Gwai and Shivased waded out, pushing the Minnow to get it off the bank. She scrambled back in, and picked up her paddle once more. The day was pleasant, but her arms were sore from the first stage. They were tied for third place, and Gwai was confident they could make up extra time. They were fairly close with two of the other boats, as the current took them past horses who were on the bank, pricking their ears at them curiously as they watched the silly humans float by.

The river soon became shallower, and the Minnow unfortunately scraped the bottom a few times as they drifted downstream. Suddenly, she heard somebody yelling to "Fire at will!" Startled, she looked around. This area should be peaceful! Was that Rustbucket on the opposite shower, with Wildlings? It was hard to make out, but one thing Gwai was sure about was that she had no shield. Looking around frantically, she pulled up the cushion she was using for a seat and held it up against her head and chest. She had nothing to return fire, and cursed that she had not brought her bow, although normally a weapon would not be required for a trip down the river. The first few objects thwaped off the cushion, and Gwai looked at them curiously. These were painted vegetables, not stones as she had originally thought! Annoyed, she grabbed the veggies that had bounced into the Minnow and, while she couldn't reach Rustbucket on the other bank, she could throw them at Team Pirates and Team Wyrd.

[KingODuckingham]

Team Stinking Duck-Ship

Ducky was outraged. No, not at the projectiles being fired at the ship. That was, ultimately, of little consequence AT WORST. At best, it hastened the day of glory. No, Ducky was outraged because the pit boat crew had swarmed over their boat and "repaired" it despite all the shouting that he and Thalionwen had done the entire trip about NOT repairing the boat.

At least the repairs had been hasty and difficult to make. It looked like whatever wood, glue, paint, or other nonsense the crew had tried to use to patch up the cheese had simply separated from the boat when it began to move again -- and quickly. That was something, anyway. This boat wasn't held together with the power of craftsmanship. They should have been able to realize that if they were competent. It was held together with nothing more than the power of a wizard's will, and the adhesive properties of water. Neither of these things seemed likely to last the race. In fact, Ducky was counting on it.

In the meantime, holes were re-opened in the bottom of the boat, and the turnip slingshots or whatever they were rained down upon them.

"A third food group." Ducky said calmly, handing a small pile of veggies to Thali. "Let's roast them over this open fire I managed to keep the pit crew away from during," he spat the word, "repairs." He gestured toward the center of the boat, where in a melting puddle of green-gray cheese a small flame burned, slowly sinking into the ship, which was itself sinking. But hey, roasted vegetables, apples, and cheese all sounded pretty good!

Also, they were in the lead. LET RECKLESS ABANDON TAKE THE DAY

[Nerwen Nuke-queen]

Team Drowned in the Rapids - @Balfur

Oh no! They had been doing so well, though Nerwen wasn't quite sure how as her hand eye coordination was rubbish and Balfur was definitely a few pints down. As they set off for the next part of the course they seemed to spin and spin on the spot, leaving them somewhat behind. "Curse you yellow flag" Nerwen shouted at it as they finally made their way past it. The damage to the tub was so far pretty minimal but she was sure the worst was yet to come. The stink coming up from the river was particularly putrid on this stretch and Nerwen huddled in her tub while trying to avoid the low-hanging branches and the creepy crawlies!

[Calimir]

Team Pirates with Plunder : 13 hit points @Durien

A weird honk from Raedbeard's shell and a loud barking of dogs set the race off again. Cal' and Léowine rushed their triple keg into the water. All the boats made a pretty good start. It was pretty hard not to with the Entwashs speeding water. The Plunder hopped and skipped over some waves. A piece off Cal's keg went flying over his head. The other repairs were holding out though.

"Good job!" Cal called to Leo as they came to slower waters. Team Minnow and Wyrd bobbed along beside them. Where were Eafled, Drowned and the cheesy Duck? "We're in front of the leaders." Cal' yelled again. Keep up that paddling.

He pulled himself out of his tub and fastened the horse head Silaes had given him to the front of their craft. The next job was harder, the pole was very slippery when wet. "There!" he smiled as the THIEVES flag fluttered on the little mast.

"What the?" At first he thought it was fish jumping but then Cal saw Rusty and the wildmen on the island. "Watchit Léo they've got a cata..." A large rock as big as a pumpkin was flying towards them. It hit Cal full on the head. It was a pumpkin - a pretty old one too. It burst with a loud splat spaying goop everywhere. Oh the SMELL! Cal' tumbled back into his tub and started rowing. It was hard work with the shell of the pumpkin round his head like a necklace and now some trees came at them.

[Elvheimdros]

At this point Elvh felt that he didn't even know what was going on anymore. This was supposed to be a pleasant if ludicrous afternoon out on the water, and instead it was turning into a multi-day adventure. Admittedly the food at the camp had been good, and the beer had been easy to smuggle out with them, and he'd even gotten some rest. With the sail rigged, he wasn't even really working right now, so that was all good.

As they drew level with Minnow and Thieves, Elvh grabbed his pitchfork from where it stood dutifully in its new bracket tacked to a barrel-stave, and jabbed at the Thieves floatation contraption, trying to get a hold of something that would allow him to yank their kegs apart, or at least fray the ropes and things holding them together and let the river do the rest. Just as he thought he got hooked on, something crashed into his shoulder, and he dropped -

- the beer, of course, not the pitchfork, though maybe the pitchfork thing would have been more efficient using two hands. Fortunately the bottle was mostly empty and floated right along with them, so it was no big deal to pick it up out of the water, as low as their barrel was riding. The pitchfork now lost its purchase as he twisted around to see what Amhran was yelling about. As he did so, he realized they were coming up on a new, less inviting stretch of river, and this sail could prove to be a liability. He knew their new rigging could be unstepped - the rest camp crew had showed him how they'd set it up - but at the moment with the adrenaline running he could only fiddle desperately with the apparatus, and hope that he could get it stowed again in time. Paddling was a nuisance, but few things would be as ridiculous as a "boat" stuck in a tree...

[Elarith]

AHOY TUBSTERS!

We are at the mid-point section of the stage, heading rapidly towards the finish line, and our teams are bunched quite tightly together. Kegs will be shaken, poles will be splintered, painted vegetables will fly, and several craft will end up looking on the verge of sinking...

Team Wyrd - @Elvheimdros & @Amhran

Roll 6:
Moves: 10
Damage: -5
Hit points: 8

The Wyrd floats on past the horses, who are startled by Amhran's shiny light but turn and flee inland, causing only a minor distraction to the other teams. Elvh's pitchfork jabbing seems slightly more successful though.

Rounding the corner, potatoes and other root vegetables rain down upon you. Most either bounce off or are nimbly caught, but a well-aimed turnip from Gwai punches a hole in your sail. The over-hanging trees then rip the rest of it off. Sail-less, you head down a narrow and rocky channel to the right-hand side of a thin strip of an islet. This looks bumpy.

Team Plunder - @Durien (Léowine) & @Calimir(Callimdir)

Roll 6:
Moves: 8
Damage: -2
Hit points: 11

Bunched up with two other teams, you fall in striking range of both Rusty and his disgusting catapult and the daring Elvh with this pitchfork. He manages to inflict some mild damage upon your craft as you are turned about in the water, but your 'THIEVES' flag stays flying high.

You are slightly behind the other teams as you bob into the fetid pools, which smells nearly as bad as that pumpkin that hit you. Thankfully you float through them quite quickly and down the stony, fast-flowing right-hand channel.

Team Minnow - @Gwai & @Shivased

Roll 6:
Moves: 10
Damage: -3
Hit points: 9

You beat off the vegetable attacks of Rusty and his friends, which are absorbed by the cushions - or used against Wyrd. Then you are sucked into the boggy pool, where the weeds entangle the Minnow and cause more damage as you rip free of them. Neck and neck still with Team Wyrd, you jolt into the narrow, rocky channel on the right-hand side of a thin islet.

Team Eaflaed - @Lirimaer (Laewyn) & @Dimcairien Luiniel(Éomund)

Roll 6:
Moves: 8
Damage: -1
Hit points: 11

From the shallow channel you carefully pick your way out, but then find yourself under attack from the Wild Boys and their Catapult O' Veg. Somehow you manage to avoid taking any damage from this, but you are quickly in amongst the yucky, fetid weeds and overhanging trees. Being quite low in the water anyway the trees only bother you a little, but as you head into the left-hand channel around the narrow island, you stumble into nests of water snakes.

Team Stinking Duckship - @KingoDuckingham(Ducky) & @Thalionwen

Roll 6:
Moves: 9
Damage: -4
Hit points: 7

Unperturbed by the Veg-o-pult, or your crumbling Duckship, you continue to make decent progress and remain in the lead. You float through the fetid pools and beneath the low- branching trees, round to the left of the thin island. The watersnakes decide your craft looks tasty though, and swarm out of their nests to feast on the cheese. The Duckship is looking precarious again as it hits the first of a set of four fast-flowing rapids.

Team Drowned in the Rapids - @Queen Nerwen & @Balfur

Roll 6:
Moves: 9
Damage: -6
Hit points: 8

You float serenely past the horse herds, which are now galloping away thanks to Amhran, and follow the others into Rusty's ambush. Cabbages and cauliflowers hail down upon you. That and the smell of the putrid big you are carried into are almost overwhelming, but at least you have picked up a bit of speed now and the momentum carries you away - smack into some branches, which capsize Drowned. You both manage to cling on as your craft somehow rights itself, but serious damage has been done. You are in the left-hand channel going past the narrow island, and ahead of you are - that 's right - more rapids.

ALL TEAMS:

You are all paddling alongside a thin island, and when this comes to an end you will find yourselves heading over a small drop into a large pool, filled with duck and salmon.

You are more or less half-way to the finish - if you can stay afloat.

[Lirimaer]

Laewyn - Team Eaflaed - hp 11

How they'd avoided the danger in that fast-flowing water, she'd never know. Perhaps Oromë was watching over foolish Rohirrim today. She and Éomund carefully picked their way out of the shallow channel, only to be met by a hail of rocks ... wait! The stone was washing off those rocks. They had acquired some vegetables! Raw turnip and potato was actually quite nice, but she didn't have time for peeling and chopping, since Eaflaed was sailing willy-nilly into the weeds under the overhanging trees. It was actually kind of nice to be out of the glare of the sunshine for a while, but when they hit the nest of water-snakes, she wasn't so pleased.

"Oh I can't handle snakes," she moaned, a shudder rippling through her whole body as her skin turned to gooseflesh. Jerkily, she grabbed for the pole and began to ease them out of the dark. "Éomund, you okay there? Don't fall out! I don't think I could save you right now. Oh, come on, Eaflaed!"

Eaflaed was only slowly drawing away from the bank, and more nests of snakes, now she knew what to look for, were dotted along it. She put a renewed effort into pushing them away from that hideous, viperous channel.

It wasn't long after that that she saw the water drop away ahead and realised they were going over another waterfall, this one smaller though. "Hold on to your - everything!" she said grimly. "We're stronger this time, but we don't wanna lose anything!"

[Dimcairien Luiniel]

Éomund - Team Eaflaed - 11hp

It had been nice to get some much-needed rest and drying time. The elvish rope Éomund had found was certainly stronger than what they had been using earlier and hopefully it would hold the saddles together for the second and final stage of the race. It was a good thing too as soon after they had started heading down the river the Eaflaed got pulled towards the right-hand channel away from all the other racers. And boy did it move quickly. Éomund observed Laewyn literally tie herself to the craft and decided to follow suite. The boat began to spin in circles and Éomund almost immediately regretted eating food earlier that day.

Somehow or another they managed to get through the dangerously fast moving waters and arrived in a shallow channel. But the dangers were clearly not over yet. While he was thankful to not be tossed about for the moment, it was not very pleasant to once again have a variety of things tossed at you. At least it was edible food though.

But, soon they arrived in a pit of watersnakes. Laewyn muttered something about not being able to stand snakes. "I completely agree," Éomund stated, "and why do they need to exist in the water of all places?" He reached over and picked up a snake that had somehow made its way into the boat and gingerly tossed it overboard. They continued to move through the nest area and before long Laewyn noticed another waterfall and cried out, ""Hold on to your - everything! We're stronger this time, but we don't wanna lose anything!"

Éomund was thankful for the ropes still holding them to the Eaflaed. He truly hoped they were the strong elven ropes as he didn't fancy flying overboard anytime soon … or at all for that matter.

@Lirimaer( Sorry for not posting in the prior round. I was literally in the middle of writing my post when the update happened.)

[Lirimaer]

@Dimcairien Luiniel (No worries x)

[Elvheimdros]

As Elvh struggled with the collapse mechanism, his problem was solved, after a fashion - well, the problem ended, anyway as they hit the trees and the whole contraption came loose. Unfortunately, this presented a new problem: it had been fastened by the repair crew in such a fashion that its abrupt removal seemed to have sprung a slow leak in the bottom of the barrel. Elvh stared - was that tree eating their rigging, sail and all?

Well, nothing to be done for it now. Elvh finished the last of his beer, chucked the bottle vaguely in the direction from which the vegetables had come, and grabbed the pitchfork again, this time as a pole for punting over what looked like upcoming shallows. Amhran seemed busy on the floor of the barrel, maybe still trying to get her cooking done if the water seeping in didn't put the fire out...

OOC @Elarith: I think Minnow actually has 9 HP? For, y'know, satisfying my interest in bean-counting.
OOC @Amhran: Going to leave the repair decision this turn up to you. Likely at least one more round before we're faced with sinking. If I'm counting right we're tied for 2nd in this stage (1 back) and last (but only 3 "moves" behind) overall.