The Mordor Post Office

[Saranna]

@Chrysophylax Dives Many thanks for your Missive from Mordor. I envy you your facility of flying hither and thither at great speed, there are so many places I have never visited. All your plans for the recovery of lost collections are very exciting; for my personal choice, I would like to make a return visit to Rivendell, where I spent so many happy centuries running the library of Elrond. We must have enough donkeys now for me to travel by cart - pehaps a two-donkey cart. If you have no objection to this notion, I should like to set out within two or three weeks. I will try to emulate your kindness in sending messages - if I should forget due to the excitment of delving into the library contents, I hope you will forgive me. I also hope the raven who agreed to carry you this return message will actually reach you and that you will refrain from eating him. Yours, Saranna, Adamanta Chubb Librarian.

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear son of Tylwyth,

Greetings from Mordor! Would you like to join our Mordor badger army? After long consultation we have concluded that you have all the requisite skills to lead the army of Slayer Badgers in their conquest of Rivendell, where the Elves are. You would be the big boss of the army, answerable only to me, Fairbain, who will remain in Mordor. All the badgers would obey your every word. Also Elves, Hobbits, and other gentle folk of the plaza will run screaming in fear just at the sight of you (and let me tell you, that is a good feeling).

If you are interested in this wonderful opportunity please reply by return of post. The only condition is that we require you to sell your mother into slavery in the Pit. There she will be well-treated, joining our bicycle fitness program, and even learn admin ways and qualities from her fellow slaves health fanatics.

Yours sincerely,

Fairbairn the Fat

@VelvetineZone & Offspring

[VelvetineZone]

Dear Fairbairn the Fat,

I am afraid the teen offspring has lost interest in the whole endeavour, I suspect he only engaged yesterday due to being stuck in a car with me without screen based entertainments.

Also I am not available for health and fitness in the Pit because I'm too lazy and also because I am busy setting up an idyllic community with a race of sentient badgers and Rangers somewhere secret in the Misty Mountains, as the gardening in Mordor was a bit mordorous.

Tylwyth and silent offspring

[Chrysophylax Dives]

Dear Tylwyth,

This for your eyes only.

Perhaps you might consider an alternative arrangement? You could donate your offspring and we could put him to work in the Pit. That way, your idyllic and secret Misty Mountain community will be a lot quieter.

Yours respectfully,

Fairbairn

PS. Slaves Health fanatics working in the Pit are not allowed any screens of any kind.

[VelvetineZone]

Dear correspondent,

Sending my offspring to work in pits is not really my parenting style, I never did take to The Psychotic Childrearing Guide to Sending Your Children to Work in Pits books. I'm really ok with the screens thing.

Far over the Misty Mountains cold
No children will eeeeeever be sold
Badgers are kind and Ra-aaaa-angers range
And we all have a lot of shiny gold

Your disrespectfully but fully in character,

Tylwyth the Turquoise, Maia of the Misty Mountains, and Waver of Turquoise Staffs

[Rillewen]

@Ercassie
A letter arrives, dated at Mid-September, 4th age 1. It is written in unusually sloppy handwriting.


To Pharak Halsad, High Priest of the Temple of Zigûr
House of Halsad, Umbar

Greetings,

I had hoped to return to study at your side by now, but alas, things are not going well here. I've been injured, which makes writing difficult. But if things work out as I plan, when I do come, I will be bringing a gift that you will greatly enjoy, while another part of that gift should have reached you by now, via Dev, and/or Uhta. If that plan did not also go awry.

Regretfully, many of my plans seem to be going awry lately. Arkadhur was arrested and started talking, pointing blame at me.. or rather, at my brother. Which caused problems for me. My brother then came with delusions of arresting me. I've had to lock him up, lest he cause trouble for me. I don't know if he's told anyone back in MT anything about me, but I felt it best to lay low and keep some distance from the castle, for now. But I have placed someone nearby to watch it, with instructions to let me know if anything happens that compromises my position there. With any luck, I will be able to resume my place there without any further trouble coming of it, but until I am sure that I can safely remain there, I will be keeping my distance. Therefore, all plans for the invasion into Belfalas have been delayed, hopefully only temporarily. The men remain in my employ, guarding the castle against any potential 'investigations' that may compromise the plans, or my position.

Most recently, I briefly attended an event happening at Lond Col, at the Dimaethor side. I had hoped to have another gift to bring along; the heir of Dimaethor himself. But alas, that, too, did not go as planned, and I was forced to leave early before seeing the fruits of those efforts. I will have to trust that Dev can manage it without my aid. I had to leave, because something has come up which demands my full attention immediately. I don't know how long this may take, but I hope to return to the temple as soon as possible, with multiple gifts to show for my efforts.

Meanwhile, I continue to do the work of Lord Zigûr as I go, and I ask for your prayers of blessings upon my efforts; I need all that I can get, with the luck I have been having lately. Yet, it is for His glory that I do all of this. I hope to be able to return soon, successful in my goal.

-Nâluthor