Lord of the Rings Fanatics Plaza

Have you ever wondered what happens when the general public are allowed to re-write Tolkien? Welcome to Mad Libs!

Seems like some naughty hobbit has been erasing some of the words from some of our favourite Lord of the Rings passages, and the honour of re-writing them has been given to you. Thing is, you can’t remember what the words are supposed to be!

The aim of this thread is to come up with a series of words to replace the missing ones in each passage. There will be 3 passages over a few weeks and I will ask you to suggest words for each passage. The word requirement for each one will be different. The 3 best combinations of words will be chosen and the passage re-written with them. The sillier the words, the better!

What are these words you speak of?

Ok, time for an English lesson folks. These are the types of words I will be asking for:
Nouns: words that can be used to refer to a person or place or thing (e.g. table)
Verbs: words that express actions (e.g. run, fly)
Adjectives: words that describe nouns (e.g. funny, red, solid)
Adverbs: words that describe verbs and adjectives (e.g. slowly, very, generally)

Rules:
~Please keep everything family friendly
~Please keep everything on-topic
~Please only suggest the number of words asked for

Round 1: The Ride of the Rohirrim

Requirements:
4 verbs
3 nouns
2 adjectives
2 body parts

Have fun!

Verbs: sneeze, toss, berate, pop
Nouns: entwife, camel, face-mask
Adjectives: cranky, pompous
Body parts: beard, fingers

Verbs: cavort, heckle, snort, balance
Nouns: narwhal, chickpea, mathom
Adjectives: iridescent, regal
Body parts: tail, antennae

4 Verbs: hornswoggle, filch, dilute, waltz
3 Nouns: billabong, emu, jumbuck
2 Adjectives: inconceivable, cantankerous
2 Body Parts: gall bladder, humerus bone

Verbs: Gyrate, grill, punch, admire
Nouns: Muffins, buffaloes, toes
Adjectives: Clumsy, repulsive
Body Parts: Septum, ear canal

Verbs: asphyxiate, strike, blink, teleport
Nouns: rocking chair, chocolate chip cookies, chainsaw
Adjectives: serendipitous, whimiscal
Body parts: eyelash, kidney

4 verbs Dance, slap, hold, walk
3 nouns Boromir, queen, shoe
2 adjectives stunning, terrific
2 body parts belly button, earlobe

Verbs: cartwheel, slip’n’slide, Catapult, Defenestrate
Nouns: Bananas, scythe, fire
Adjectives: boisterous, equanimous
Body Parts: appendix, jawbone

Verbs: steal, murder, deface, jaywalk
Nouns: beehive, doghouse, molehill
Adjectives: classified, suspicious
Body Parts: lips, knee

4 Verbs: lick, jump, wink, sleep
3 Nouns: boot, hedge, window
2 Adjectives: shiny, curly
2 Body parts: fingernail, kneecap

4 verbs: fall, smash, cower, eat
3 nouns: horse, mousetrap, river
2 adjectives: mighty, witless
2 body parts: elbow, chin

4 verbs: stumble, kiss, kick, tell
3 nouns: bathtub, violin, mirror
2 adjectives: scared, sacred
2 body parts: eyebrow, nail

4 verbs: straddle, smooch, boil, gamble
3 nouns: hairbrush, birthday cake, troll
2 adjectives: inconceivable, dandy
2 body parts: kneecap, eardrum

Oh my goodness, what fantastic words you've all come up with! I never expected to get so many replies in a short space of time, so I will accelerate my plans and post the first results now, along with the requirements for the next round.

It was really difficult to choose from all these wonderful and bizarre combinations, but Rivvy Elf's selection tickled me the most on this occasion. Here is how the passage sounds with Rivvy re-writing it:

#1 The Ride of the Rohirrim

There was a silence as Merry crept nearer, and then the Wild Man began to hornswoggle, in answer to some questions it, it seemed. His voice was deep and inconceivable, yet to Merry’s surprise he hornswoggled the Common Speech, though in a halting fashion, and uncouth words were mingled with it.
“No, father of Horse-men,” he said, “we fight not. Hunt only. Kill billabong in woods, hate orc-folk. You hate billabong too. We help as we can. Wild Men have long gall-bladders and long humerus bones; knows all paths. Wild men live here before Stone-house; before Tall Men come up out of emu.”
“But our need is for aid in battle,” said Eomer. “How will you and your folk help us?”
“Filch news,” said the Wild Man “We look out from jumbuck. We dilute big mountain and look down. Stone-city is shut. Fire burns there outside; now inside too. You wish to come there? Then you must be quick. But billabong and men out of far-away,” he waltzed a short cantankerous arm eastward, “sit on horse-road. Very many, more than Horse-men.”


Round 2 is The Council of Elrond
Requirements:
3 verbs
5 nouns
1 adjective
2 place names (don't have to be ME places)

If you have a word you particularly like and it wasn't chosen this time, please feel free to use it again, or come up with a new selection entirely!

Nice work, Rivvy. Wild men have long gall-bladders.

3 verbs: vomit, whack, giggle
5 nouns: chicken, didgeridoo, ape, spoon, ghost
1 adjective: stinky
2 place names: The Cupboard Under the Stairs, Bag End

Hornswoggle is my new favorite word

Verbs: Prance, dance, lance
Nouns: Pajamas, corks, loofahs, peanuts, pretzels
Adjective: perpendicular
Place Names: Novigrad, Denerim

Gall-Bladders is the best part of that. I feared up.

3 Verbs: Medicate, Blindside, Boggle
5 Nouns: karate, pistol, kitty, lettuce, psychic
1 Adjective: Sticky
2 Place Names: China, Hogwarts

Rivvy with the brilliant use of hogswoggle, we never stood a chance!

3 Verbs: connive, castigate, cackle
5 Nouns: codswallop, collards, cooties, cantaloupe, cordial
1 Adjective: cacophonous
2 Place Names: Coruscant, Camelot

3 verbs - typing, singing, sweeping
5 nouns - brush, book, box, battle, plant
1 adjective - soft
2 place names - Oxford, Iceland

3 verbs: flummox, tackleglomp, explode
5 nouns: wand, pint, hellhound, ocean, butterfly
1 adjective: whimsical
2 place names: Bank Station, Neverland

For some reason it was "you hate billabong too" that got me

3 verbs: lollygag, breakdance, concoct
5 nouns: harpsichord, wallaby, moisturizer, comic book, laser pointer
1 adjective: superficial
2 place names (don't have to be ME places): Atlantis, Spare Oom

Verbs: futterwacken, foxtrot, dilly-dally
Nouns: crumple horned snorkack, platypus, sky bison, goldberg machine, kitten
Adjective: prickly
Place Names: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Tok

Thanks @Fairy Nuff ! Wow, hornswoggle really did fit perfectly there @Mazana @Aerlinn . Thanks @Dwim ! I always like to bring up the gallbladder as an organ whenever it's asked. It sounds silly but it's quite important too, @Oro @Gwai .

Had a bit of Waltzing Matilda in my mind, @Menolly :P

3 verbs: defenestrate, pontificate, bellow
5 nouns: Man-O-War, lagoon, crumple-horned snorkack, pufferfish, iphone
1 adjective: effervescent
2 place names: Hogwarts, Lamp Waste

Long gallbladders!

3 verbs: jump, yodel, glue
5 nouns: Trinket, table runner, troubadour, parsley, foghorn
1 adjective: flabbergasted
2 place names: dentist‘s office, Mount Doom

3 verbs: Vex, Flourish, insinuate
5 nouns: Grasshopper, Village, Banana, Ukulele, rattlesnake
1 adjective: Gargantuan
2 place names: Florida, DS9

3 verbs - Crawl, hide, tilt
5 nouns - Bandersnatch, Okapi, Fridge Magnet, Lava Lamp, mouse
1 adjective -Teeny
2 place names (don't have to be ME places) - Jerry's Nose, St-Louis-du-Ha!Ha!

Round 2
3 verbs: Cajoled, Dash, Snap
5 nouns: cerumen, Tardis, antler, president, hegemony
1 adjective: effervescent
2 place names: Stockholm, Shelob's lair

Awesome words again everyone, I am giggling away like a loon here, and it has been really hard to choose. I especially loved all the rhyming and allieration. But, @Oak had me with T-rex!

Here's how Oak's version of the passage from The Council Of Elrond sounds:

# 2 The Council of Elrond

“I lumbered to The Concert Hall like a gale and I reached it before sundown on my second day from Bree – and they were there before me. They erupted away from me, for they felt the coming of my calvalry and they dared not face it while the sun was in the sky. But they closed round at night, and I was eructating on the hill-top, in the old ring of The Library. I was hard put to it indeed: such teeth and fangs cannot have been seen in The Concert Hall since the war beacons of old.
At sunrise I escaped and fled towards the north. I could not hope to do more. It was stentorian to find you, Frodo, in the rum, and it would have been folly to try with T-rex at my heels. So I had to trust to Aragorn.

Round 3 is Out of the Frying Pan into the Fire

Requirements:
4 nouns
2 verbs
3 adjectives
1 adverb
2 people’s names

Round 3

4 nouns: biscuit, lava lamp, Faberge egg, unicycle
2 verbs: snigger, placate
3 adjectives: dastardly, odorous, unctuous
1 adverb: laughingly
2 people’s names: Zelda, Tim

4 nouns: floccinaucinihilipilification, turtle, eyelash, antidisestablishmentarianism
2 verbs: digest, blink
3 adjectives: insidious, draconian, impetuous
1 adverb: fluffy
2 people’s names: Dick, Andre the Giant

4 nouns: stirrup, masking tape, mother, cloud
2 verbs: hurry, stalk
3 adjectives: vile, wealthy, imperious
1 adverb: slothfully
2 people's names: King Arthur, Dave

Requirements:
4 nouns: Hobbit Hole, bucket, ninny, Shark
2 verbs: belch, splash
3 adjectives: large, vacuous, malodorous
1 adverb: obnoxiously
2 people’s names: Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny

4 nouns llama, grandmuzzer, polo field, tea towel
2 verbs yodeling, cantering
3 adjectives violently purple, fuzzy, sizzling
1 adverb awkwardly
2 people’s names Jango, Groot

4 nouns: glass slipper, turnip, beard, Reese’s peanut butter cup
2 verbs: writhe, enunciate
3 adjectives: frivolous, stony, callous
1 adverb: continuously
2 people’s names: Woggy Hardbottom, Greg Wiggle