Lord of the Rings Fanatics Plaza

Cornflower adjusted her headband, then slowly walked up to the wishing well. She was a practical mouse and did not believe you could hope your life away, but sometimes one could make exceptions. She wished she had the new set of wooden spoons made with the unknown light wood she had seen on display in the market. She was getting old now, and stirring batters became a chore with her heavy spoons. And so, closing her eyes, she stood by the Well, deep in the mythical cave and made her wish.

Saphira the majestic dragon stood in line behind a mouse and a phoenix. What would she wish for? Hmmm...

As she pondered this question, the phoenix approached the well and out came a giant dragon-sized glass bottle, with a single small cherry stuck at the bottom of it. What an odd thing to wish for! Saphira deduced that the fountain was a tricky magical thing. She would have to be careful what she wished for... Hmmmm, maybe that's where that human phrase came from? Ha!

Sapira finally whispered to the wishing well: I wish for a dragon-sized pumpkin pie.

A well ! Another foolish well ! Borromino was not so amused from wells ; wells mean water and he was a old dwarf. The only wells he wanted were dry wells. Laughed the old anarchic dwarf inside himself.

Borromino stopped a second , just in time for seing a huge pumpkin pie appearing in front of him and taking the form of a huge PUMPKIN. He stood asthounished, not just for the form, but just because it was....ALIVE ! Borromino laughed just in time to see the pie trying to eat Shapira.

It was time to dream..........and to drink..........so Borromino started to dream a peculiar wish : a well full of beer , instead of water.

Borromino was still snoring.

Hill looked down into the well and saw that an Elvish tower had been turned inside out, and so he knew that it was magical.

'Today is March 12', Hill leaned into the well and shouted so the sound would reach the folk at the bottom, 'the day that Gollum led Sam and Frodo into Shelob's lair'.

'So to commerate this red letter day, we wish to invite you all to Undertowers where @Saranna will give a guided tour of Elostirion and I myself will lead select guests down the Straight Stair and the Winding Stair to the very source of the water of our Undertowers well.'

Saranna, arriving just as Hill appeared to be trying to fall into the well, ran to the parapet and hissed urgently,'Hill! Do be careful. If you fall down there you could be hurt, and moreover hurt that assemblage of people at the bottom. I wish you would take better care - oh!' As she spoke, a number of soft cushions fell from the sky and gathered themselves around Hill, tumbling him onto their protective pile of softness.
'Well,' he said, 'Seems you'd better be more careful what you wish for, Saranna!'

@Saranna had wished for Hill to take better care, and then all these cushions fell from the sky. Hill was mighty relieved because he saw a solution to the armed stranger in Undertowers. He picked up the cushions and prompted Saranna to arrange them under her cloathing.

'These cushions should protect you from the knives of the tall and dangerous one who you unwisely god-moded inside without disarming. Now go back to Elostirion and tell the armed stranger that you have had it with god-moding, you have seen the light and will never do it again. In fact, you wake up each morning and the first thing you do is pronounce your eternal opposition to god-moding. If that does not work, call for the huorns - that might at least give you a chance of escape. If you run up the stairs to the secret chamber at the top, don't forget to draw the ladder up after you. Good luck, Saranna!'

Hill turned his attention back to the well, a fountain that was not built by the hands of man. Saranna had wished him to take better care, so instead of leaning over the well in an attempt to shout down to the folk deep down below, Hill cut one of the gold buttons off his sleeve (not the front buttons, they were just too big and shiny) and tied to it a note:

Today is March 15, the day that Sam and Frodo escape the Tower of Cirith Ungol and Merry and Éowyn dispatch the witch-king of Angmar, king of the Ringwraiths.

To mark this red letter day we wish you all to come to Undertowers, where our Librarian - if still alive - will give a tour of the western tower and I māy lead a party up the steep stair and the winding stair to arrive at the source of our Undertowers well.

Hill dropped the button with the note into the well and watched it slowly sink down into the deep depths. Then he cursed in an obscure goblin tongue because the water from the fountain had just soaked him, and it was very cold.

The Librarian was still alive. But Hill and the Wāt-fairy had vanished. And the only two visitors ever to Undertowers, Ephtariat and the tall and heavily armed book-seller assassin, had vanished. After two invitation-wishes the net result was an invisibility of guests.

The dragon had watched these events unfold with a keen eye. Rather than make a wish, he produced from his pocket a magic marker and drew a queer sign on the wall of the well. A sign that could be read by others in the trade, usually pronounced:


No point others wasting a good wish on this well; it is surely a tower inside-out, and is certainly magical, but there appears to be a problem with the plumbing. The dragon considered reporting the problem to the administration, but then thought better of that idea. He had done his civic duty with the sign, more in these troubled days would be foolhardy.

Maybe people would dive for Hill's gold buttons? The dragon recalled the watery grave of Smaug the Magnificent, and gave an involuntary shudder.

The dragon before had been hasty, appearing to renounce the very idea of wishes while marking a sign that expressed a desire for negation. In other words, the previous well-visitor spoke a wish that the well worked.

That was pushing even god-moding. Possibly the well might work eventually, which was what the Wāt-fairy had always said. But who cared about tomorrow when the day was today? And yet... At this very moment on the Adamanta Chubb Librarian thread the Librarian was preparing to parley with the dangerous Ranger who had magically if indirectly destroyed the great staircase. So possibly the well was starting to work and the present visitor's duties to the OP were dispensed with? Let us assume so, and proceed, thought the dragon as he stepped up to the now invisible well.

Well, o well, o wishing well, was the sacrifice of one Tree and one Hill not enough? Must the Dragon too be given a caricature of a sea-burial, drowned at the bottom of a wishing well? Well, o well, what I well wish for, beyond the everyday, ordinary stuff, is... I almost feel ashamed to say. Why does the heart hide its secrets? But I will not be ashamed of my desires. Well, I speak my wish.

What I wish for, very, very much, is to play the part of the old man in the white robe in this clip, only with the fighting Uruk-hai, on asked whom he serves, declaring Chrysophylax Dives, but with the same sort of tone and facial expression, please.

Would that be possible, well? Thank you so much in advance, Here, have three gold buttons that I stole yesterday in Rohan.

The dragon dropped the three buttons and watched them float slowly down to the bottom to join Hill's buttons and what for a moment he thought was the carcass of Smaug but moved and must have been a small fish.