Lord of the Rings Fanatics Plaza

Posted: **Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:01 pm**

Boromir, warrior of Gondor
Travelled to Rivendell yonder.
He fought with some orcs
Who made him a corpse,
Which Denethor thought was a blunder.

Posted: **Sun Aug 09, 2020 5:37 am**

There once was a hound of Imladris
In a cruel forest maze gone ah-miss.
If rendered a ghost
Will he still steal the roast?
The kitchens await his stomach ah-byss.

Posted: **Sun Aug 09, 2020 1:42 pm**

There's this ladybug who is a grouch
And doesn't want friends on his couch
He picks several fights
With a whole bunch of sights
Till a whale's tale slams him back; oof, ouch!

Posted: **Sun Aug 09, 2020 6:08 pm**

@KingODuckingham Yep. Also,

There's this dread Peeping Tom of a bear,
The brown one that does nothing but stare,
At a strange-oid blue horse
And a red bird, of course,
And a cat with Kool-Aid-purple hair.

(I hate that book so much.)

Posted: **Sun Aug 09, 2020 11:31 pm**

I used to have quite the collection
Of children's books for my profession
I gave them away
And am hoping that they
Are still part of first grade story sessions

Posted: **Mon Aug 10, 2020 5:17 am**

I really should have gone to sleep
but instead in my bed I shall weep
I started a new book
(just for a quick look)
and have now gotten in far too deep.

Posted: **Tue Aug 11, 2020 12:22 am**

A big storm blew in from the west
And put tree branches to the test
They might have held on
Or fallen upon
Cars whose luck today wasn't the best

Posted: **Tue Aug 11, 2020 3:48 pm**

In moments of pure desperation
that make me say "what in tarnation?"
I turn on a vid
of what traffic did
My son likes to watch. Explanation?

Posted: **Tue Aug 11, 2020 3:59 pm**

@KingODuckingham

With preschoolers, man, who can tell?
My son once was obsessed with church bells.
My fault, my apology:
I looked up "campanology"
And for months the house echoed with knells.

Posted: **Tue Aug 11, 2020 5:07 pm**

So it turns out that each tasty lick
Porter laid on us was with a pick
Yes the Bass Doobie Bro.
Really put on a show
I can hear it NOW - I was just thick!

Posted: **Tue Aug 11, 2020 5:42 pm**

I guess some folks still don't have power
From the storm that was more than a shower
Trees downed power lines
And wrecked the designs
Of my dear friend for many an hour

Posted: **Thu Aug 13, 2020 8:32 pm**

Points on the dreaded triple six
La, I'm in a pickle and a fix
Four horsemen to follow?
Guess I'll try tomorrow
To add one more post to the mix

Posted: **Fri Aug 14, 2020 5:08 pm**

For some reason lim'ricks use Nantucket
Perhaps since it rhymes with the word 'it'.
Although it's a slant
They will never recant
Though sometimes they slip in a 'bucket'

Posted: **Wed Aug 19, 2020 10:21 pm**

A new language class starts today!
And I'm hoping we'll learn how to say
"How do you do?"
Or "One hundred and two"
Without much ado or delay

Posted: **Thu Aug 27, 2020 6:39 pm**

My grief, it is hard to assuage
That this thread fell off the first page
So I must bump it
To sound like a trumpet
A call for others to engage

Posted: **Fri Sep 04, 2020 3:53 pm**

I must admit I am surprised
That limericks are no longer prized.
The thread has been tossed
(My wires were crossed)
Maybe poems are not actualized?

Posted: **Fri Sep 04, 2020 8:28 pm**

There was a dwarf name Thili,
who made the hottest ever Chili.
So spicy was his pot, like the fire of dragons,
that the ale was ever served, in bottomless flagons;
which keep Thili, from singing shrilly.

Posted: **Thu Oct 22, 2020 3:35 am**

Summer's dilemma extends into fall:
Can a breeze be worth humidity's thrall?
Should I open the casement
Or hide in the basement
Thinking fondly of winters that bring a snow squall?

Posted: **Sun Oct 25, 2020 1:08 am**

There once was a teacher called Elvh
(On the Plaza, not IRL-self)
Who had a first quarter
He'd swear was much shorter
Than the calender said from its shelf.

Posted: **Sat Nov 21, 2020 8:14 pm**

There once was an Ent down in Fangorn
Who'd lost his Ent-wife, now he's love-lorn
He said he had looked,
Didn't know if she's cooked.
Now he never leaves, ever, from Fangorn.

(I'm out of practice, so this one is terrible. >.>)

Posted: **Sat Nov 21, 2020 11:48 pm**

Once known as Gandalf the Grey
A Balrog he once did slay
Fought the beast day and night
Died, returned clad in white
'Twas to Saruman's decline and dismay

Posted: **Sat Nov 28, 2020 9:17 pm**

The winter solstice is four weeks away
Though only around Northern Hemisphere way
But already I balk
At a post-dinner walk
When by 5 PM there is no light of day

Posted: **Fri Jan 08, 2021 3:52 am**

If ever true love did exist
When gone it would be sorely missed
You'd wring out your heart
Like a sponge, as a a start
'Til you and your lover made tryst.

Posted: **Wed Jan 13, 2021 12:45 am**

@KingODuckingham

If that is the measure of truth
Then I think I can find such a proof
For all love-poems say
Is in essence, dismay
That their lover is staying aloof!

Posted: **Sat Jan 16, 2021 9:08 am**

I know quite a lot above love,
Cause the movies teach me oh so much!
For all you must do,
To win you a boo,
Is be a hot guy with a pup.

Posted: **Wed Jan 20, 2021 10:11 pm**

There is nothing better than bears
Not even a plate filled with pears
But it would stand to reason
That during this season
You stay out of the cave that is theirs

Posted: **Wed Jan 27, 2021 11:11 am**

There is nothing better than bees
Not even the best old cheese
But it would stand to reason
That during the season
You don't poke their hive and tease

Posted: **Wed Jan 27, 2021 8:39 pm**

I've been eating too much string cheese,
It's delicious, yes it's the bee's knees,
But if I keep eating,
My stomach starts beating,
Me up from the inside, oh geeze.

Posted: **Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:40 pm**

I am on a mid-winter break
My thirst for relaxing I slake
By making a post
Two or three at the most
Since I'm all by myself, give or take.

Posted: **Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:12 am**

I'm having the worst writer's block,
Each time that I write I must stop,
Cause I get just a line,
I think it looks fine,
But after that all of them flop.

Posted: **Wed Mar 03, 2021 8:56 pm**

There was an old lady who never shut up
She talked endlessly about an old breakup
By the time I escaped
The world had reshaped
And now she’s starting in on a teacup

Posted: **Fri Mar 05, 2021 11:13 am**

I wish my nose would stop running
It causes me grief and shunning
For the young do not know
How age makes life flow
An old noses to keep on running

Posted: **Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:23 am**

I'm teaching my students to read
Poetry but it makes their eyes bleed
They're roughly fourteen,
At life they're still green
So for poetry's sake I must plead.

Also I should mention it's in Latin, but funnily enough it's the fact that it's poetry, not Latin, that bothers them.

Posted: **Fri Sep 03, 2021 9:31 pm**

The Plaza suddenly broke
and nothing remained of the goat
but the evil soup never stops
in fact now it's sold in all the shops
And so returned that goaty bloke

Posted: **Tue Sep 07, 2021 6:46 pm**

The evil goat was exhausted
He made sure the Plaza was re-Frosted
His spicy soup was a hit
but it engendered counterfeits
Time to make sure some folks were accosted

Posted: **Tue Sep 07, 2021 9:56 pm**

There was a hobbit named Appie
She made pies sweet and sappy
She is as deaf as a stone
And lives quite alone
But will knock goblin heads and chew taffy.

Posted: **Thu Sep 09, 2021 10:05 pm**

There was once a store that sold phở
It was tasty and savory as fu--
One day it attracted a goat
who asked if it could be made from stoat
The cook said sure, but it'd cost him a hundred bucks

Posted: **Thu Sep 09, 2021 10:21 pm**

There once was a rambling goat
Who talked his way onto a boat
"A soup, I can make
'Tis really a piece of cake
But to do make I will need the captain's trench coat."

Posted: **Sat Sep 11, 2021 5:40 am**

The soup, they said, was evil
it's savory flavor might cause too much upheaval
But the goat went ahead
and made sure everyone was fed
Something unheard in times medieval

Posted: **Sun Sep 12, 2021 2:15 am**

The Goat of Mendes was in trouble
When down by the river, was his double.
They dueled on the banjo,
Which would seem apropos
Until the two began to crumble.

Posted: **Thu Sep 23, 2021 8:22 pm**

"Get that goat out of the kitchen!"
Said the chef who looked like a pigeon
He was upset at his sous chef
Who happened to be deaf
and couldn't hear any of his bitchin'

Posted: **Thu Sep 23, 2021 11:18 pm**

There once was a Horse named Raisins.
Which is quite different than Craisins
It stood and lunged through a fence
Cost it's rider quite a few pence
and went for trot to the havens.

Posted: **Thu Sep 23, 2021 11:28 pm**

Tiamat is done with your shire
Mess with the queen and you will get bit
You murdered her partner
then yeeted her gardner
And now she's tired of being gaslit

Posted: **Sat Dec 11, 2021 10:53 pm**

Frost's youngest daughter's a pirate
and at seven years old you've got to admire it
She's crazy with a cutlass
and she won't make it bloodless
so it fills her father with disquiet

Posted: **Sun Dec 12, 2021 8:15 pm**

Frost's next daughter's a blood drinker
but that never stopped her from being a thinker
She rescued some poor rangers
from some political dangers
And thus she became a master hoodwinker

Posted: **Mon Dec 13, 2021 9:44 pm**

Frost's next two daughters are twins
more resourceful than the seven deadly sins
One would steal your eyeballs
While the other cut off your balls
Then they'd use your bones for candlepins

Posted: **Tue Dec 14, 2021 3:37 am**

Frost's most well known daughter's a Rohir
she thought the Calvary would be her career
But as luck might have it
She broke that bad habit
and made her way to the frontier

Posted: **Sat Mar 26, 2022 5:18 pm**

There once was a girl with strange eyes
Her father vanished under a new guise
So with a heart described as reptilian,
She set out as the sun went vermillion
And searches for her mum in the skies

Posted: **Sun Mar 27, 2022 8:49 am**

There once was a runaway horse
Who galloped through bramble and gorse
When her rider did find his steed
She bit him and ran off with great speed
For her actions she felt no remorse

Posted: **Wed Apr 20, 2022 2:25 am**

There once was a terrible king
Who forged a magnificent ring
But a curly haired hobbit
Managed to drop it
Destroying the sorcerer’s bling.

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