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Gwai was getting close to the pub, but she also had a feeling she was getting close to the thief. Should she reroute to find Elenhir? She was fairly certain he was at Dhâd Bûrz, but how would she get there in time, to apprehend such a skilled thief? The only option was a nearby Pink Tricycle. Gwai groaned. What if she saw someone she knew while she was riding such a ridiculous contraption? Her reputation would never recover. She was a Rohir, for Bema's sake. She was supposed to be riding a horse, not a small pink thing. Groaning, she decided she had no other choice. Maybe she could steal a big floppy hat to cover her face.

Elenhir dragged Ducky off to the Dhâd Bûrz, clearly anticipating some special fun. The wizard was terrified. What could be so horrible as to tickle the funny bone of such a terrifying servant of Sauron? Ducky likely would never have guessed if he had not ended up seeing it with his own eyes, but it was true: they were busting out the Pink Tricycle for him. That was what they jokingly called this torture device, anyway. In actuality it only had a crude pink smear to cover the worst of the bloodstains, and it was only called a tricycle because there were three different gears that operated the machine. Ducky gulped.

The evidence was quickly adding up. The thief was hiding out in Dhâd Bûrz of all places. Perhaps it was Moriel who was the thief this time. It had been awhile since she had participated in the thievery, so it might be a good idea for to be getting back in the mess as the suspicions would perhaps have lessened over time. Zarâm tramped up the steps determined to find the thief hiding there with the pink tricycle in her clutches.

Another day, another thief hunt concluded. But this time felt special. Finally. Finally Akrag had solved the mystery surrounding the pink tricycle! It had been a multi-round, multi-series venture, but he had finally discovered who was behind all the trickery. It had appeared at the Morannon, in the shadows, beneath rocks, and most prominently in the black pits. He'd pointed fingers at many people, including Nessila and Frost. But of all people, it had been the champion thief hunter, Moriel, herself. He should have known! He had suspected it once, even said it out loud. Only a thief herself could be so cunning at catching thieves, knowing and understanding their methods and processes.

Feeling confident, the orc decided it was time to take on his biggest case yet. It was a case so big he'd avoided it until now. But clearly he was getting okay at this business, so he didn't hesitate this time. Grond had been stolen, and it had been used to bash through The Morannon itself. This was a disgraceful crime, using one of the Dark Lord's favourite weapons against his own defences. It could only have been done by one of the freeps. A minion would not be so silly. Akrag stood amongst the ashes, pondering this thought, while a Lava Snake slithered over his foot.

[choosing items as my second specialty thank ya]

When we consider the conflict between Minas Morgûl and the White City, we really ought to move past the focus on numbers or comparisons of the character of the Haradrim and Easterlings versus the that of the Men of Gondor. Nobody seems to want to talk about the real heart of the fight: the chants of Grond! Grond! Grond! up against the Rohirrim cry of DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! It is this comparison which will tell us why the Rohirrim triumph on the field of battle, despite all the odds. Thank you for coming to my Ted Sandyman talk, prepare to be amazed and take notes.

There really was no point in ever leaving On the Rocks again, Gwai decided, happily sipping wine. But there was another thief on the loose? What was it about this place that encouraged mischief and mayhem? Lazily getting to her feet, she decided she may as well have another go at catching the thief, although her efforts thusfar had been fairly unimpressive. She would ask Sil what was going on, and advice about finding thieves. Hopefully it would have nothing to do with the Rotting Leg'o'Las because that would be just disgusting.

(Edit for colors)

Wow! She had actually caught the thief! Well, co-caught to be technical, but still, maybe claims to fame would eventually be a thing. And now, yet another object had been stolen in the Black Lands. Zarâm dashed out of Dhâd Bûraz and headed for the Towers of No Return. This time she was certain the thief had to be Gawi, that sneaky Rohirrim had to be up to no good in Mordor. And naturally, Írimë’s Wine Stash would be the most palatable thing for a human, so that had to be the missing item this time.

Nerwen entered the Towers of No Return with a vibe of positivity. Unusual, for Mordor, but here we are! The thief hunt was continuing to be a success, with many criminals being apprehended and many goods returning to their wrongful rightful places. This time she suspected Narv was the light fingered one, she thought he had always fancied himself in full possession of the One Ring, he was such a power hungry troll!

[Redirecting trap to @Dimcairien Luiniel]

Akrag looked down to discover that it was not just a lava snake that had slithered over his boot. It was a whole variety of snakes, which took him by surprise, but he quickly kicked his boot up and flung them in the direction of Dimcairien, who was snooping around the Towers of No Return. Akrag agreed that there was something going on at those towers, so he too began to snoop around there while his opponent was distracted.

Grond was not there, but a Cat O’ Nine Tails was, and so too was someone who looked like Nerwen, and they were whipping it around in a show of dominance. Someone else was threatening to fight back. It looked like Almarëa perhaps, and she was waving around the Mouth of Sauron’s Toothbrush in act of defence and defiance. What had prompted this disagreement?

Fortunately the rottenness was in place and non-stolen, so Gwai continued her thief hunting toward Barad-Dur. Yes, the one, the only, the infamous, the still standing? Was that new? She should ask Thalionwen, who was the new go-to contact for all Rohirrim requiring less than savory information. Hopefully there was a high-priced missing item, such as the Hauberk of Angmar. Higher price, higher reward, especially since she had just spent some of her last coins on entering the hobbit darts.

For a brief moment, Zarâm though she was safe, but then that horrid Dwim managed to redirect a trap in her direction. Once again, she found herself surrounded by a great variety of snakes. "Why the fredeger are there snakes again!" she shouted, stamping out onto the steps of the towers, trying to shake off the snakes that seemed to take issue with her presence. But, if the trap had been redirected towards her, she knew she must be getting closer to catching the thief. As soon as she was rid of these vile snakes, she would be right back in the hunting fray.

Let us consider another speculative argument: when Frodo passed by Minas Morgûl, he really would have been better off if he were wearing the Hauberk of Angmar. True, it was not a local uniform, but the Witch King would certainly have recognized his old emblem and therefore known (or supposed) that the creature wearing such an object was a fellow servant of Sauron. Heck, the Witch King may have assumed that it was simply Landy. It wouldn't have exactly matched in size, but then the Witch-King has a hole for a face, so you can't expect the highest quality sensory interpretation from the fellow.

The Cat O’ Nine Tails was winning the battle against the Mouth of Sauron's Toothbrush. But there must have been too much ash in the air, because Nerwen and Alma were not involved in the battle at all. It was just a couple of plain old orcs, having a disagreement as if they were in On The Rocks. Why were they battling though? Akrag crept closer to try and hear what they were snarling at each other about. It took a bit to decipher, but it seemed like they were debating who was the better minion between Tzu and Winddancer.

I hear some of you say that the Hauberk of Angmar would actually put a spotlight on whoever walked close to the Witch-King, and perhaps that is so. Perhaps it would be best to put on the Hauberk as a way of crossing the Morannon instead. An identifiable evil mark, but nobody there who would know enough to naysay the weirdness of appearing in the late Third Age wearing Angmar materials. Except Winddancer, of course, seeing as how she's been around for the entire Third Age. But is she really likely to be present. I submit that she is not!

Barad-dur was number one on the tourist brochure of places to see while in Mordor if you only have 2-3 days and no horse, but that was probably a trick of the fell beast. Didn't I just run into you? Gwai thought to herself. Was he following her? Attracted to her perfume? Joke was on him, she wasn't wearing any! Something was going on, and enough was enough. She could only throw rocks at him for so long.

It was time for a more permanent solution. That sounds ominous, she thought to herself, wondering if she should laugh evilly. But no time to decide. She pulled her sword and swung it slowly back and forth. It stared at her, green saliva dripping down it's jaws as it just looked at her, unblinking. Gwai stared back, still swinging her sword. "Just keep your eye on the sword," she intoned. It kept staring at her. "You're getting very, very sleepy," she continued in a monotone. "Just keep watching the sword..." the unblinking eyes started blinking sleepily. "It's time to go to sleep!" she continued, as the fell beast looked at her sleepily. She kept slowly swinging her sword, and finally, the fell beast turned three times in a circle, and plomped down on the ground, kicking up a bit of a dust cloud. Discretely coughing into her sleeve, Gwai turned and scurried out of there. She wasn't sure how long the fell beast would be hypnotized, but she didn't want to wait to find out.

The escapade with the spiders over, Zarâm was prepared to once again catch a thief. Her guess at a hiding place was obviously wrong, so she decided to make her way towards the Morannon, hoping to catch a sneaky thief hiding in the form of Narv. The troll had to be up to no good, that was how most trolls rolled. But what would a dense creature want to steal except for the Mouth of Sauron's Toothbrush. Goodness knows a troll could use a toothbrush from time to time.

Watching the argument was quite exhausting. Akrag needed a drink, so he headed to On The Rocks to take a break from thief hunting. Hunting thieves was all he'd been doing lately, and he hadn't even given himself a day off. He also wanted to tell people what he'd seen at the Towers of No Return, that he'd seen two minions fighting each other with a Cat O' Nine Tails and the Mouth of Sauron's Toothbrush. They probably wouldn't believe him, but with a bit of embellishment maybe he could convince his listeners that Uruva and Reikon were the ones fighting.

Nerwen had found herself on Morannon, which was not a joy. Not to her anyway, it was a bit flat. As a dwarf she enjoyed a lot more landscape, more dimension, more texture. It seemed so far that no thief nor treasured lost item had been identified yet. The dwarfette stroked her beard; there was only one thing for it. Go to the very top of her metaphorical alliance tree and accuse Sil of stealing the Cat O' Nine Tails.. She was fairly confident that at least some of this guess was possibly partially right!

Perhaps, to strengthen the disguise, we might add a Cat O' Nine Tails to the infiltrator, allowing them to scourge themselves as a way of demonstrating their loyalty to a Maia god of pain and darkness. Surely no follower of the light would ever stoop to thrashing themselves with such an instrument? The Morannon will become an open gate to such a disguised person. Turin himself, fabled enemy of Morgoth, were he so arrayed, would look veritably like the Mouth of Sauron, and would never be denied admittance. I challenge anyone to naysay such a prediction.

Hypnotizing the fell beast seemed to have done the trick, at least for now, as Gwai hurried back to On the Rocks, needing an ale (or Mordorian equivalent) after that little interlude. She had almost made it to the pub, too, when she ran (figuratively) into Volgavia, who immediately asked her if she knew the location of the Cat O'Nine Tails. Gwai looked at her blankly. What was that? She couldn't even begin to guess, although she had a worrying suspicion they might (literally) be cat tails. "Um, no?" she answered hesitantly, wondering if she should be searching for it as well.

"WHAT THE FREDEGER?" Zarâm screamed when she stumbled up yet another nest of snakes! "Why do I always find the damned snake nests?" Leaping out of the Morannon, Zarâm settled herself once again outdoors. "That sneaky Dwim better not catch a thief while I'm dealing with yet more snakes. They're all well and good when racing, but piles of them in random places are horrid. She spat on the floor in frustration, and pondered where she might catch the thief, once she was able to hunt again.

On The Rocks was actually a pretty great place to be. The drinks were cheap tonight and there was a dart throwing contest with hobbits as the victims. Despite this though, Akrag did his best to remain undercover, because he'd become a bit of a target himself these days. The other minions were not too happy that he was catching all the thieves. He had a look around. One of the hobbits tied to a dart board looked suspiciously like Dwim. And someone who might have been Elenhir was getting ready to throw his darts at him. Little did Elenhir know, Dwim had stolen the Hauberk of Angmar and was wearing it under his clothing. No dart would pierce that.

In the middle of Ducky's treatise on the viability of sneaking into Mordor using Angmar as a cover, some foul fiend released a variety of snakes into the audience. Everyone was panicking, screaming, and running in different directions. Ducky came down off the speaker's podium to see what was the fuss, and received a bite, right on the ankle, for his trouble.

His vision began to swim. Was that...poison? Was that what he felt creeping up his leg, turning it numb?

He collapsed to the ground. He began to use his arms to crawl away, toward the side exit. Few people knew it existed, but it was the quickest way out, and there did not appear to be any snakes in that direction. He did not fancy crawling through a whole gauntlet of them to reach the back exit. Here was hoping he could make it before his heart froze from poison...

The fell beast still was nowhere to be found, and Gwai sighed as she ordered a drink at the bar at On the Rocks. There was no reason she couldn't look for a thief while enjoying a frosty beverage, she comforted herself. It was something Reikon might do, she thought further, looking around to see if anyone about was acting suspicious. Pretty much everyone was, which did not narrow down the list of suspects. Her ears pricked up (figuratively) when she heard someone mention the Hauberk of Angmar. Was it missing? Could she find it, and use the reward money to pay off her bar tab? Was there some sort of career available for professional hypnotists?

If she never saw another pile of snakes again, Zarâm would be grateful to whatever appropriate deity made that happen. Once again ready to hunt, and ready to catch whichever thief had stolen the Hauberk of Angmar. She hurried over to the One the Rocks pub, certain that the the thief, Moriel, was hiding there. Naturally, it wasn't the smartest choice for a recently caught thief to attempt another one, but then, stranger things had happened.

[OOC: Gosh we stuffed that one up didn't we!]

Akrag decided he didn't really want to leave On The Rocks. He was having a good time, for an orc. He didn't even care that the One Ring was still missing. The dart competition was too exciting, and he was enjoying watching Elenhir (he was sure that was Elenhir) trying to get Dwim between the eyes. There was a slight sense of anxiety starting to rise in him though, as he thought the longer he sat around here drinking, the more likely one of the other thief hunters was to snatch victory.

She was getting close, Zarâm knew it. She continued to scour around the On the Rocks pub searching for whoever had swiped the One Ring. Somehow she had missed a major clue, but she was still certain that the thief had to be Moriel. Only someone that sly would try to thieve twice and make off with what could be considered the most precious item in all of Mordor. She hoped to once again be successful in catching the thief.

Ducky was going to need something stiff to drink in order to counteract the poison. Perhaps a margarita, On the Rocks? Perhaps some rum. He would ask Dwim, that hobbit always had given good advice on food and drink (as hobbits are wont to do). Ducky dragged himself slowly forward by his arms. He could feel...no, wait, that wasn't the right way to describe what was happening at all. He could NOT feel his legs, and the not-feeling was reaching his abdomen. It created a very strange hollow feeling in his belly.

He had a thought as he drifted toward unconsciousness. Would the One Ring prevent dying from an injury like this? Or did that whole "not really dying because the Ring still exists" only work for Sauron?

There was a lot to be said for thief hunting from one spot, and not hurrying from place to place. On the Rocks fit the bill, and Gwai gestured for another drink, still keeping an eye out for Reikon. Hopefully there was something valuable stolen, like the One Ring, as she could seriously use the reward money. And if there was no reward money, then maybe she would just keep it. (Mordor was rapidly eroding her morales)

Moriel wrote: ↑Fri Jul 17, 2020 7:51 am Nothing special happens. And it doesn't really matter

Really sums up my plaza posting there doesn't it?

JK, thanks for running Moriel. And Dwim! I'll get ya next time.

Thanks for hosting, Moriel! Now we have someone new to go after...better watch your back, Dwim!

At least I managed to win one round this time, which was certainly more than in the first series. Now I have two people to go after: Moriel and Dwim.

Come at me, folks! (says the vulnerable hobbit in Mordor)

Thanks, Moriel for continuing to run this for us.