Durin's Rock N Boot - Yuletide Pub

[Afird Splitax]

Welcome to Durin's Rock N Boot - Yuletide Pub
Set in a comfortable hall deep within the mountain, this is the most popular pub to be found in all the lands. There is not a day or night where it isn't packed with rowdy and merry dwarves. So come in an grab a mug of ale - the selection is vast from home-grown to imported- or sing a song or kick some axe or just have some plain good old fun. And remember, Tuesday's is always two for one and "once all the mugs have been smashed, the only other options is to drink out of one's boot."

Set a little bit aside from the tables is a special pit where folk can fight and settle disputes. THE FIGHTING PIT. It's considered common courtesy to take disagreements there, rather than damaging the rest of the establishment. Also set aside is one large table for DRINKING CONTESTS. If you're a particularly stubborn dwarf who doesn't like the presence of foreigners, either of these areas would be your opportunity to challenge the outsiders to show who belongs where. If you choose to engage in a drinking contest, a special judge will be around to regulate the competition.
And for those who like a Singalong/Karaoke ,the stage is set . The music is provided by The Axe Men, a group of Dwaven musicians who keep their instruments finely tuned - day and night - and never seem to wear out the beat.
Enjoy!


*Flats and Silent Nog greet you at the door with a 'Greetings' from Flats and a 'nod' from Nog. Grinning like the happy two they are, they usher you inside and the first thing that you hear is, “Deck The Halls With Goblin Balls ”. Soon you discover why. The tavern has been transformed into a literal Yuletide Log. Logs everywhere. Logs for chairs and tables: log lanterns hanging from the ceiling: log plates, log mugs, and even log silverware. And even though the dwarves do not celebrate the season like other races do, they enjoy a good party and never miss an opportunity to have a pint or two (or three or four..).
You nod your own greeting and begin to investigate the tavern. It is a dimly lit affair even with the many Yule Log lanterns hanging from the ceiling. There are log tables and chairs, a log bar, a log stage, several log pool tables, and even a log dartboard. There are various Dwarves scattered about the bar, doing what they do best (arguing and drinking). Alf and Duff are off doing Durin knows what; Drifa is by the bar smelling pipe weed; some other Dwarves are at a small log table, going over plans to enter a new shaft; a Dwarf is onstage singing a merry Yuletide song. You enter the establishment. *

** DISCLAIMER: please be careful when smoking in this tavern, as logs are dry and highly flammable. Please smoke with caution. **

You Enter The Establishment: adapted from the one and only cowgirl-booted Dwarf, Mithy (Mithriltears): KD Pubs

Drink Menu:
Durin's Stout - a dark, bitter beer served tonight by a few stout bitter dwarves, who never got named, Durin.
King's Claret - a.k.a. Dorwinion Wine imported from down south. It makes you sleepy, don't cha know?
Rohan Red - strong ale, made to make you snicker like a horse when consuming too many.
Seven Heaven - tales from Minas Tirith have it that, this wine makes one feel like when upon reaching the seventh level of the city, one feels they have reached heaven (although the climb and the change in oxygen levels may have something to do with this.)
The Pass It Round - a.k.a. Miruvor the cordial of Imladris. Just a mouthful -for it is very precious- if you drink more, you will spend the rest of the night, exclaiming; "Pass it round!" subsequently never having more than the first few sips of the cordial
Bilbo's Shire Ale - in honour of the great halfling. Polite to the tongue yet fulfilling for any Dwarf's drinking requirements, this one will really get you talking.
Mount Doom Booze- if you want a rush, this is your spirit of choice. Bubbling with blue mist, it will send you into a spin. Your brain will scream. You'll burp out cold blue flames, and if they don't come out that way, they'll come out the other end.
Ra-Hoom-Rah Tea - a potent Ent draught that , well, curls the hair on your head, and toes!

Some Old Favorites:
Telperion Mist - An old favorite of the dwarves . Drink at your own risk!
The Pippy - A way to get drunk twice as fast and with an extra kick. Beware of boots. Big boots.
Orc Bite - Created to give dwarves the courage to face a horde of orcs wearing nothing but towels and armed with nothing but feathers.
The Lucust Lake Drink - The histories of this ale are largely clouded, but a counsel of ale experts deemed it too strong to be safe...
Long Mordor Ice Tea - Favourite drink of the Orcs, it is always drunk after battle victories. It cools the throat and quenches thirst. It has a slightly minty flavour, giving even the most filthy Orcs minty freshness. Served with a delicate Shire olive and Oggled Khazad leaf in it.
Lorien Breezer - A light coloured drink, this is a heavily fortified cocktail which is sure to entice the palette of men and women alike. Made from the freshest herbs and spices and several ounces of whiskey, this drink will set your very soul on fire.
Sandbrow Ale - An ale with a caffeine kick due to a wee bit of Mahal Espresso. Best served with limes this very sweet ale inspires singing and turns hair a bright stunning blue for about fifteen minutes.

Food:
This is up to your imagination. Meat, bread, pie, potatoes, vegetables, eggs, cheese, or any combination thereof, and anything else that you might fancy. Simply approach one of the tavern staff (Flats, Alf, Silent Nog or Duff) and order whatever you're hungry for.
Smoking Chamber:
For those that fancy pipe smoking, join others in the special Smoking Chamber and experiment or show-off some of your own techniques and creations.

Guidelines:
1. The pub is open to all races, be you dwarf, elf, hobbit, goblin, man, or anything else.

2. If you want to order a drink or food, just call your order to Flats and Silent Nog or Alf and Duff. (Feel free to god mode these four tavern staff) .

3. If you really do want to fight, take it to the fighting pit. And if you really do want to challenge someone to a drinking contest, take it to the competition table! Label the top of your post and who you are challenging if you are in one of these two areas. Don't god mode!

4. Be creative with the drinks! Each drink has a mild and curious effect. Interpret the descriptions of the drinks however you please and react to the drinks' effects accordingly. RPing the effects is not required, but if you choose to drink the Mount Doom Booze, there are no ifs or buts, you must RP the blue flame effect!

Singalong/Karaoke Rules:
This is the place to come to submit ME adaptations of songs. Make sure you provide the original song and artist. Thanks!

OP adapted from Dwimmerlaik's Durin's Boot Thread.

[Raisins]

Three Raccoons

After a bit of needless violence in Mordor the brothers decided to head for Moria and the pub they had heard had opened up there. It didn't take them terribly long to infiltrate the Dwarven strong hold, after all they were quite skilled bandits.

They made it into the pub which really felt quite a bit like home being that it was mostly wood in this pub which seemed to be strange for the dwarven architecture. Reginald went to take part in karaoke though he wasn't entirely sure anyone here would understand him not that he cared he was a magnificent beast and his voice was gold. Not that Bob or Hob could appreciate his talents.

Bob hopped right up on the bar counter and chirped and chattered at the nearest dwarf until they finally came to pay attention to them though he did have to avoid a few swipes where the bartender seemed to think he should not be on the counter before he finally pointed to the menu his clawed little hand landing on the Pippy as he stared at the seemingly miffed bartender. Honestly what did one think was going to happen when you made a place look like a cedar forest?

Hob for his part scuttled away and hid in amidst the logs that were everywhere watching the on goings closely plotting and rubbing his little clawed hands together while he waited

[Afird Splitax]

Drifa put the pouch of pipe weed down on the bar and watched the three racoons @Fuin Elda enter the pub. She was not surprised by this. All kinds of creatures made their way into the mountain at this time of year for shelter. It was, after all, a tremendously large Mountain with lots of caves and caverns. Usually the critters were too shy to frequent the living quarters of the dwarves, but some did, obviously. She recalled a letter she had received from her sister kimli (Mahal rest her lovely soul) many years ago recounting a winter when a buck and a doe found their way into the mountain a by Spring a substantial warren of rabbits had taken over the dwarves living quarters and other parts of the Mountain. They got them out eventually, but it had been a hopping chaos for a time

Racoons were interesting. Very clever and dexterous creatures. They were also notorious thieves and mischief makers. Drifa would have to let the staff know of their presence and have them get out the pooper scoopers. They were animals after all.

She watched as one jumped up on the bar (not a thing she could abide having some critters ass on the clean bar top near her) and the confusion on the barkeep's face as he shooed the racoon away. Of the other two, one had hid himself and the other was at the karaoke stage. Maybe it could sing? She wondered if it could dance. She grinned at this notion as she looked at the pub door hoping some two legged patron would come in and join the fun.

[Galadrihell]

Silvereye, a Dwarf

Silvereye slammed the door open enthusiastically. This was a great time of year for her: as a toy maker, around Yule she was greatly in demand to make intricate trinkets and clever toys, and for once she had not (yet) gambled away all her winnings. Time to spend it on drink.

She strode briskly past Flats and Nog, nodding in return, although Silvereye’s bushy eyebrows practically shot into her equally bushy hair (a lot of time spent soldering will really crisp up your hairs) as she heard the song. Decorating with goblin balls!? That was a terrible idea. Not at all Silvereye’s idea of aesthetic, and as an artisan, she knew what was aesthetic.

She rolled up to the log bar. “Ale!” she roared. “Start us off with a Durin Stout!”

[Raisins]

Three raccoons, Two dwarves and a Balrog in a Mithril mine...

Bob chattered rather angrily as a bartender attempted to chase him off of the counter. It did not work. Instead Bob grabbed a hold of a piece of paper that he hoped was a menu and pointed at it, Bob was not literate so he could have been pointing to a colouring sheet for all he knew. However he got very very upset when a dwarf came in and ordered a drink after him and the bar tender seemed to be more willing to get her a drink than him.

What was he chopped liver? He probably didn't actually want the answer to that question and sidled up to the roaring she-dwarf and waited for them to get their ale, perhaps if he tried to steal it the bartender would get the message. He'd even found some shiny things that he was certain would be worth a drink or two on his way in. The brothers MAY have stolen several gold coins from the dwarven treasury before making their way here though they had not been seen doing that fortunately. So as far as the brothers were concerned their money should be good in these parts.


Reginald for his part scrambled up on stage and pawed at the musicians until he finally got their attention enough that they shooed him away from them, and right into the spot light. He turned chittered at them a bit and waited until they started playing the next song. He then stood up balancing on his back two legs his front paws crossed in front of him and started to 'sing'.

Singing might be an overstatement considering as far as anyone aside from Hob and Bob listening would only hear raccoon chittering and chirping and growling. However his song went like so:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve Orcs orcing
Eleven Elves elfing
Ten horses a-leaping
Nine men wraithing
Eight walkers walking
Seven dwarves a-swingin'
Six goblins gobblin
Five GOLDEN ALES (FOR BOB MY BROTHER)
Four hobbits walking
Three eagles flying
Two towers risin'
And a balrog in a Mirthril Mine


It was probably for the best that nobody could understand him. The whole balrog in a Mirthril mine was probably horribly off colour considering everything.

[Afird Splitax]

Drifa had been observing the 'roaring Silvereye ' female dwarf, wondering if she had a more feminine side to her, when the chittering, chirping and growling began on the Karaoke stage. Turning her attention that a way, she saw one of the racoons standing on the stage (like a small bandit) crooning out what she assumed was a racoon tune, although, by the sounds of it, it seemed more like the cry of a critter with it's paw caught in a trap. She was surprised that the hired help (Flats, Nob, Alf and Duff) had not been able to rid the pub of these three racoonteers. They were going to cause some mischief, sooner or late, she was sure of it. And, once the ale start flowing more freely, there would be a dirty mess spread all over the floor if the help didn't keep the scooping up.

'Bah!', Stop it old girl!', she quietly scolded herself. She was here to enjoy herself, to get away from those everyday thoughts (cleaning mostly) that usually occupied her mind. Twas the season to be jolly. Wasn't it? Turning back to the bar, she slammed her fist on it and following the bushy haired dwarf's lead, roaring out a demand for more ale. It felt good! She grinning to herself as the tension suddenly began to release her neck and shoulders from it's tight grip.

[Pele Alarion]

Cadil

For one reason or another the young Gondorian still found himself roaming the lands (well, the mountain) of Dwarves, as he always found some thing or other to explore. Presently he stepped into the pub, careful not to bang his head as he got through the doorway.

Stepping aside so that he would be out of the way and no newcomers would run him over, he let his eyes become adjusted to the new environment. It would be somewhat silly to go right forward without knowing what was where and find himself right in the middle of establishment.

Hearing some noises, he looked to see a raccoon on the stage - was it a performance of sorts? Or had the animal escaped from someone that was chasing it and now was taking some rest? Having watched for a while, Cadil eventually decided to see if he could get anything to drink, and maybe eat.

However, he was rather startled by the yelling of the Dwarven ladies, so he halted half-way to the bar, thinking whether he could be loud enough to make an order. All in all it seemed like shouting was a way to do it here.

[Baphởmet]

Tharbek

What a day it had been! Tharbek was exhausted and he could use some down time. Where was the best place to go for that? Well Durin’s Rock N Boot seemed like the perfect place to throw back a few pints, well more than a few pints if he was being honest with himself. He approached the pub, massaging his lower back (he really had been working hard the last few days) and grinned from ear to ear. “Well bless my black beard!” he cried. “A yule theme?” What could be better? The grizzled dwarf sauntered in and was immediately overwhelmed with all the familiar sight, smells, and sounds of a pub. His husband would be cross that Tharbeck hadn’t come straight home so they could go together, but he was sure his partner would amble in on his own in no time. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes. He had been away for so many Yule celebrations, he’d missed so much happiness and camaraderie. Work had kept him away from his family and friends long enough! He opened his eyes and took in all the sights. There was a nice crowd here too! A few dwarves, a human (this was gonna need some exploring), and… were those raccoons? Tharbeck scratched his thick black beard, shrugged, and laughed. Why not? Everyone needed some cheer right now and he would be damned if he was gonna stop a little trash panda or three from having some fun tonight! He was absolutely not going to sing. Nope, not at all. Not a single song. Well, not a whole album but maybe a song, later though. After a few dozen drinks who could say? He was inclined to believe he might be able to belt out a tune or two, maybe three. He’d have to wait til his husband arrived thought, what good was drunk singing if you couldn’t embarrass someone while you did it?

“God Jul everyone!” he announced with a boisterous baritone voice. “Let’s start off with a round of Mount Doom Booze for everyone! On me! Includin' the raccoons!” He beamed a wide, toothy grin.

[Galadrihell]

Silvereye

There was a series of glugging noises and then a contented sigh as Silvereye finished quaffing her first stout. These new lidded mugs were excellent for proper quaffing. They meant you could wave your beer around and slam your stern down enthusiastically and bang it on the bar in time to the music without actually losing too much drink.

That being said, the music here lacked a certain something: although the band were undeniably brash and jolly, they were accompanied by a most frightful squeaking, shrieking sound. Silvereye rubbed both her eyes - both the good one and the glazed one - as she examined what appeared to be three, fuzzier-than-usual, extremely ugly Dwarf children cavorting on the stage, wearing cloaks with ornamental tails and black bandit masks. How peculiar! This definitely required another drink.

Happily, another black bearded fellow had appeared near her at the bar and was calling for Mount Doom Booze. Hurrah! Wait, what was that he was saying? Those Dwarf children were RACCOONS??

[Raisins]

Three Raccoons

Reginald the Third was finishing up his song which he thought had gone most excellently and he was rewarded with a lovely pint of ale, he chattered happily to the tall hairless creatures around him completely unaware that most of them were confused at him being there and singing. He sat at the edge of the little stage thing his feet hanging off as he sipped the dark brew happily planning his next crooning song for the enjoyment of the patrons of this most fantastic establishment.

Hob for his part was shocked at the dwarf offering him a mug, after all he was in a nice hole in the bole of a cedar tree and there was not really enough room for a mug there and so he had to crawl out and take the mug. He sat looking at the pub while he happily lapped at the Mount Doom Booze. The more he drank the more he enjoyed it as it muddied his mind and he laid back against the wall scratching his softly little belly appreciating the fantastic buzz that was going about in his head.

Bob had been very sad at first as it seemed he was not going to get an ale at all not being able to talk to these pesky dwarven bar tenders and had sat back on his little but dejected and sad looking at his little gold coin just about to start crying as only a sad alcohol-less raccoon could cry when a mug was placed before him. He blinked looked at it and the bartender since the Silver haired dwarf that had come in shortly after the brothers had had ignored him and then chattered happily looking around and spotted who he assumed had ordered the drink a black haired dwarf. Bob did his best to heft the heavy pint up in his front paws and walked his way along the bars counter top to raise a raccoonish toast to the dwarf (Tharbek) and see if he'd keep the ale coming.

Bob raised his mug as high as he could in the dwarfs directions and said in his loudest raccoon voice "May your fur always be fluffy, food be tasty and the wolves away from your door." A most honorable toast from a raccoon. To which his other brothers raised their own partially emptied mugs and chattered their agreement to their brothers toast. And then drank, making it very obvious their intention with the chattering even if the dwarves and humans couldn't understand their words.

Downing the drink Bob then pulled pulled out a few gold coins that he'd managed to grab and put them on the table before Tharbek and chattered pointing at his mug trying to get the dwarf to keep the alcohol flowing into his mug for at least a little while.

[Baphởmet]

Tharbek

Tharbek was pleased with himself. He’d only just walked into the bar and already he seemed to be the most popular person there. Granted, giving everyone a round of booze in a pub is the easiest way to make friends. Still, he was very pleased with himself. Drinks passed around and his own stein of sinister blue liquid sitting in front of him, Tharbek took a moment to listen to the raccoon. It looked like it was trying to give a toast, maybe? Either he had already drank too much or he was going to need a lot more booze tonight, he wasn’t sure which. When the creature ended the toast, or had simply stopped squeaking and chittering, Tharbek raised his mug in solidarity and drank a long deep draft. The alcohol burned all the way down like a fine rotgut. He belched, unable to stop himself in time and true to the description of the beverage, a gout of blue flame spurted from his mouth. At first the dwarf was a little too stunned to react, then, upon a moment’s reflection, bursting into a fit of laughter. “Well that was something! What’d they put in that stuff anyway? Dragonfruit? I hear such a thing exists.”

He looked down at the table and saw the gold coins and the pleading eyes of the raccoon. He smiled deviously and gave the bandit eyed creature an exaggerated wink. “I think I know you need. Keep your coin though, I’m sure a trio of raccoons making their way in the world needs all the help they can get.” He paused and took another draught of his booze. Was he really talking to a raccoon? Was he really not taking the raccoon’s money? “there more’n heav’n ‘n’ earth than exist’n my philosophy,” he mused a bit drunkenly. “Cheers to you, you little tyke. May all your capers succeed and may your creditors never find you.” He finished off his booze, burped another blue flame (to which he still giggled), then peered very seriously at the raccoons. “Not that I’m gonna be able to understand you, but what are you even doing down here anyway? Are you on a secret mission?” He considered the raccoons a moment longer, shrugged, and laughed.

“Another round? I think some King’s Claret will do us all very fine, maybe followed by some shots? You and your brothers ever had shots before? Oh you’re gonna love them!”

[Galadrihell]

Silvereye

Silvereye’s eyes bulged - both the silvered over eye and the steady grey one - at the sight of the raccoon counting out coins. GOLD coins, no less. It was not a surprise that a wild animal had little concept of the exchange rate, she supposed, but how under Arda had the critter obtained all the gold?! It wasn’t even raw nuggets (raccoons were famous for washing things, so it was plausible that they had been panning). They were outright coins. Silvereye could only suppose they had filched them from somewhere - that or raccoon society had advanced further than she could have thought whilst she had been on her latest spree (work or drink, it barely seemed to matter).

And indeed, it didn’t matter now - not when King’s Claret was on the table. “Hurrah,” she cheered to nobody in particular as she accepted the next stein.

[Raisins]

Three Raccoons

Hob for his part let out a loud and very very flame-ish burp from where he was that caught a cedar twig on fire which he very promptly slapped out his little eyes a bit wide at the fact he'd caught something on fire with his breath. Were they part dragon? He was confused he'd never burped flames before and he looked at the mug and then at the dwarf that had provided. He was going to blame the dwarf if he accidentally caught the place on fire however the second stein of alcohol seemed to be different it smelled different. Hopefully it would not make him burp some other colour of fire. He tucked in.

Bob was worried at first when the dwarf seemed to be refusing his coins. He looked at them were they not good coins? He was horribly confused however the dwarf kept talking asking what they were doing there and Bob blinked understanding the dwarf easily enough "We're here because thee mines were nice and warm in the winter and dwarves ate fantastic food. The Salted Pork was particularly good." He chittered happily to the dwarf after all he could understand the dwarf and the dwarf was clearly talking to him so figured the dwarf could possibly understand a little raccoon? why else would he talk to a raccoon? Most people just screamed at them and chased them with brooms or sticks. Sometimes dogs. Bob looked over at Hob that was missing part of his tail from a dog biting it off in the Shire. He took another drink of his Mount Doom Booze and answered Tharbeks burp with his own with a proud little smile. It was much smaller than the dwarves but was still quite impressive for a little raccoon. He was almost finished with the Mount Doom Booze when the dwarf suggested another round. Bob nodded his head appreciatively and then blinked.

He'd never heard of shots. "Shots? Are those like the things the men shoot at us?" He was a little suspicious however he didn't see any bows or arrows here and so far this dwarf seemed rather nice so he doubted he was actually threatening them. He kept on coin out and pushed it towards the bar keeper figuring it would get them drinks faster possibly?

Reginald for his part had decided to do a fire breath demonstration with the Mount Doom Booze, he got up on the stage and started to burp, a few little ones with sips of the drink and then he chugged a bunch and stood for a moment waiting for the build up and let out a massive furp. The Burp projected fantastically. A good two and a half foot long stream of fire. The problem came with the fart that accompanied it. It was not nearly as massive but he did have a fluffy tail and it was now quite singed. Reginald let out a little shriek and scooted around on his butt to put the flames out before looking at his tail rather sadly.