Wizards and all that! Orthanc for Rent?

[Ult]

Orthanc had been abandoned for years. No one really lived there anymore. The doors were cracking like hell...there seemed to be orcs running around at times, well sometimes, but no one would trouble them...so Orthanc was as it was...but silent. But sometimes...in the dark of night a light would be lit, somewhere up in the Tower. Birds would fly away suddenly, and it would be quiet again. But then after a while a few floors below, another light would be lit... and again birds and mice would start to run away. Even once a Kamikaze rat dove down fromt he 7th floor...and survived. But he had no offspring ever after...

And then suddenly...


(OoC: this doesn't have to be serious. I don't know how many wizards will find their way, and since they are homeless, I suppose Rohan will have to do. I'll see where this will go!)

[Rowena Ellenweorc]

(Is this supposed to be an IC thread? Just checking. This thread should turn into the Isengard pub of old-- what was that called?)

[Ult]

(Is this supposed to be an IC thread? Just checking. This thread should turn into the Isengard pub of old-- what was that called?)

(Hopefully... I dunno if there will be wizzies at all...I hope some will find their way back, and then we'll see)

[Ult]

Ult was dragging a keg of Old Grishnak with him: "Oh my, that was not difficult with that South Umbaran. Once I gave him one of those blue balls it was a piece of cake. He wanted to sell me his mother, his wife and his holy goat. Man, I haven't seen a holy goat from Umbar in years!" Ult stopped and mumbled on. "In matter of fact I haven't seen anyone in ages!. I was really getting crazy of all those trees. All what they were saying was Hoom! Hoom!"
Ult pushed the great door of Orthanc open and before him was a dusty entry hall. Light was coming from above, and water trickled down the stairs. "Now, where did I leave that key...I mean someone needs to open this place when someone shows up".

[Pallador]

Pall stopped in to try and get the place cleaned up and presentable. “By Gandalf’s beard Ult! This place is a mess! Probably hasn’t been swept out in an Age! Here, take this broom and let’s get to work! I’ll go start washing the dishes. The sink is full!”

[Ult]

Ult heard someone talking...."OMG...voices, I hear voices...!" Ult looked around...He did hear something. It had been silent for decades and apart from a casual young South-Umbaran...eh lady that would happen to be around and drop by on occasion to have lenghty discussions about lore and, eh...very sophisticated wizzie things, such as, eh... reading books together and playing...a card game, there was really no one who had been in the tower for a long time. And now he had heard voices. Loud and clear! He was about to open THAT door, and then he turned around and then saw clearly a ghost who had returned from the Undying Lands, but pretty much alive and kicking...and doing the dishes!

[Lirimaer]

Earane Ancalime

She came in through the door in trepidation. Outside, the weeds were particularly virulent, and she had no great hopes for the inside, but she could hear ... something, and strangely it wasn't the water cascading merrily down the stairs. Glancing upward in consternation, she was suddenly distracted by the noise of clinking pottery.

Who was in the kitchen, washing up? Were there Dwarves here? But no, no singing, it must be some other socially-minded creature.

She spied a high shelf on the wall and tossed her hat up onto it, leaning her staff against the wall, before heading toward the kitchen where she found two wizards.

"Ho, friends!" she called. "Shall I come back when you've got it cleaned up?"

[Ult]

Ult felt backwards when he heard suddenly someone raise his voice. Startled, he bumped his head against an overhanging loose piece of wood, and it projected a large loose stone up in the air. The stone hit the ceiling and several pieces of wood came loose. After the pieces started coming loose, the ceiling started to bend over and a very large cupboard on the floor above was slowly edging to a large hole and...came suddenly down with a hard thud on the floor of the kitchen... just in between Ult and the newcomer that had just arrived. Ult wiped the dust of his face, tried to shove away the cupboard that had broken in many pieces...and said: "My oh my...who do we have here!"Looking first in the direction of the ghostly wizard who was still doing undisturbed the dishes, and the newcomer he said: "I haven't seen anyone here since decades...and look here, there's two of you, and..." Then the cupboard turned over and barely missing Ult: "Ears...Pall"!...so glad to see you. I can't find the key of the Pub!"

[Pallador]

Pall reached into the sleeve of his robe and pulled out a huge key. “Is this what you’re looking for? I’ve had it on a chain, wearing it around my neck for the last half-Age. Something told me to hang onto it. Here, see if this opens anything.”

[Lirimaer]

Earane Ancalime

Clearly, there was Mischief Afoot. Ult was standing - just - and what was that Pall was waving around? Hey - that looked familiar!

"Isn't that the key to the pantry?"

"Ult, have you misplaced your marbles? The pub is hardly the most pressing need ..." but then she trailed off, glancing round the shambolic monument. The only thing not covered in dust and broken wood was a keg of Old Grishnak.

"No, you're absolutely right, I need a drink!" she announced. A goblet of severely battered pewter was near her feet, and she picked it up, dusted it on her sleeve and held it out for him to fill. "You might as well tap that keg," she remarked. "Clearly we're going to be here for a while!"

[Ult]

"Why didn't you say so, Pall! It means we can get back to business. I've got ale..."*points to the keg of Old Grishnak" "There's a good old friend" ... points to Pall..."and most important there's at least a woman! I mean we do need the ladies to get this pub going!"
Before Ears will give Ult a bad look he adds: "I mean there were somewomen here in the past...who could drink any dwarf under the able!" He turns to Ears and asks: "Where have you been? I mean, I've been staying in the Fangorn wood, and sometimes I walked alone through this tower, but I never saw anyone. Did anything happen in the outside world? Ult turns to Pall: "I mean, it's not the infamous Holy Goat of Umbar who is about to do his dirty tricks, is he? Last time I heard of him he said he was swallowing fermented toad juice, because it was said it prevented you having too many burps. I heard he was shouting it through the Palantir that everyone should use fermented toad juice, and all burping problems would be gone. You can expect anything from Holy Goat". Ult took the pewter from Ears and asked: "So we gonna pass that pewter around, because I really don't know if anywhere more can be found?"

[Pallador]

Ult, really, Unholy Goat is more true to his nature. The tale I heard was that he, or it, or whatever was last seen with two young lady Wizzies. He was plying them with unlikely stories of his past deeds, attempting to lead them astray.

[Lirimaer]

Earane Ancalime

Perhaps these two were already on the sauce. Or maybe the Old Grishnak was a little too fermented? She took the goblet back from Ult before he stole it.

"Pall is washing up!" she pointed. "Did you think to check what he's washing up? Anyway, I'm sure half the cupboards must be full of goblets and glassware, Saruman liked a tipple ... did either of you check the cellars?"

[Pallador]

Cellar? Where do you think this keg came from? It was back in a corner under a chest full of old scrolls. Looks to have been there a while so I figure it’s pretty nicely fermented. Here, pour me a pint and let me check it out!

[Lirimaer]

Earane Ancalime

"If it was under a chest of old scrolls, that's not something I'm drinking!" she declared. "I'm done with month-long hangovers and not being able to feel my nose. You can have this though and good luck to you." She thrust the goblet at Pall.

"I'm going to find out why that water is pouring unceasingly downstairs. We never used to have plumbing ..." she muttered as she disappeared out into the hall, leaving only the echo of splashing footsteps as she made her way up to the first floor.

[Pallador]

Pall was getting a little bit frustrated. Confusion was one thing but addlepated was a wholly different matter. He wondered what Ult was up to. “My old friend! Ult! Come quickly! Bring a mop, one of those Fantasia self-mopping brands as well as a bucket or two. We really need to get this water mopped up if we expect to get anyone to visit. As it is, things are really a mess!

[Ult]

"Yes Pall, I'm coming but first this" Ult raises his pewter filled with old Grishnak ale and then says:
"One Old Grishnak Ale to rule them all
One dark ale to find them all
One dark ale to bring them all
and in darkness bind them!"
Ult downs his ale and then ask Ears: "So what have you been up to. Meeting nice maia in the Undying Lands." But somehow Ears must have missed that, since she was walking through the Hall. Ult said: "Do come back, the pub might open any day now."
Ult looks at his empty pewter and then adds: "I met Maia here, very pretty girl from Umbar, until she stole my last savings, and kicked me in the gut!" Ult stood up to help Pall..."Did you order those mops at Umbaran.com? Or did a new load of those things come in from Khand, where the labor is cheaper?"

[Pallador]

Pall gave a sidelong glance at Ult and grinned sheepishly. “Actually my friend I, I conjured them myself. That could be where things went wrong. I should have realized something was amiss when they wouldn’t stop mopping but I guess I got distracted. This Mordorian virus thing has really been on my mind.”

[Pallador]

(Ult, there’s a thread going in OOME, “Wizards and all that”. Started by ShEru

[Pallador]

*BTW, she’s still in her candle-spirit form, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be popping up as a Wizzie before too long!*

[Pallador]

All right all you sleepy Wizzies, up and at ‘em! Time to get this show on the road on this fine morning! Time to get posting! We have no guarantees that this site will be here for another day, another hour, or even another minute!

[KingODuckingham]

Ducky sniffed the air. There was a new scent upon the wind. It smelled like...change. Had someone returned to Orthanc?

Nah, upon reflection it smelled more like Grishnak ale. Now THAT was a reason to travel to Orthanc. Ducky just had to see (and taste) for himself, if there really was Grishnak ale at Isengard again. It had been years since Ducky had traveled so far west, but the haunts were familiar. People changed, but the land rarely did. Ducky bustled on, wishing he had a lordly horse, or even a nag to carry him. He crested a small hill, and all of Isengard came into view.

It was derelict, yes, but looked occupied. There was a light on, somewhere down there. The smell of ale was strong.

Ducky picked up the skirts of his robe and jogged faster. There could be a real party brewing. Ducky laughed to himself at his own joke.

When he came to the high tower, he slowed down nervously. He banged his staff on the door and called out, "Uhh, Trillian, is that you? Day, you there? Ult? Sea? Anybody?"

[Pallador]

*Pall yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.*. Sorry KingO, but I’m afraid that the other folks are kinda being slugabeds this morning. Maybe if you tapped your staff kinda vigorously on that door there it might rouse someone. *Pall pointed to the dormitory room door*. Don’t be surprised if you get yelled at and possibly get something thrown at you though. There were some late-night hijinks going on!

[Ult]

Ult woke up and noticed the keg of Old Grishnak ale was empty almost. Things had be quiet for a while and although there had been a wizard spotted the other day (Ears) she seemed to have walked away, inspecting the tower. Ut looked around and noticed Pall who was clearly done with the dishes and asked: "Anyone else who...?" And then he noticed someone and Ult said: "My oh my...lok at that, another wizard (KingO) who found home..." Ult looked up and added: "Well if you can call this home? I dunno...what can we call it?" Suddenly a piece of stone dropped form the ceiling: "Look at the state the Tower is in! How can we ever get this Tower in shape again. We need a lot more wizzies to get that going."

[Pallador]

Everyone, rejoice! There was a situation going on that resulted in the need to kick this incarnation of our home in the butt, put jumper cables on it and give it a new surge of life. Kinda like Dr. Frankenwizard had to do when he created his monstrosity. But praise be to Eru it worked and now everything seems to be fine!

[Lirimaer]

Earane Ancalime

Upstairs, the noise of trickling water was more apparent, but the source of the water was harder to find. She searched her way through the first few storeys quite quickly, but then she started exploring the former rooms of long-departed wizzies - who clearly hadn't bothered with putting their stuff in storage as they went walkabout. One whole floor was dedicated to the storage of the the entire workshop of StarQuality Designs' robe emporium. Spools of coloured thread were stacked floor to ceiling in rainbow hues, and a giant loom, well, loomed over the centre of the room like the skeleton of a giant firedrake. The desk beside her held a small array of 'bespoke designs' which were technically one main design with an option on pockets and whether the hood was pointed, gathered or liripipe. She vaguely remembered getting one of these things, long long ago in the mists of time ... had it been blue? Was she still wearing it? She might be, but she couldn't remember. The dust was terrific though, and the water hadn't gotten in to this room, so she closed the door again and followed the waterfall up the next set of steps, sneezing madly.

In the henneth idhrin, the palantîr's plinth stood proud and empty; maybe that was for the best, she mused, moving on upwards.

Eventually, having travelled up three-quarters of the tower, she found a door with water gushing out from under it. She had no idea where all the water was coming from, but with the weight of the water behind it, she could not open it. Suddenly, a bright idea came to her - she would try a window!

Finding an adjacent room and breaking the lock, she managed to clamber over several kegs of dubious pedigree with CORSAIR FINEST stamped upon them, standing on one to reach the window. Climbing up onto the windowledge, she gripped gingerly onto Orthanc's uniquely ugly facade and tried not to look down. My it was high up here! ... and windy! Her cloak billowed unhelpfully, and she was glad to be wearing bloomers over her cross-gartered hose. She moved widdershins around the building, which was a feat of pure will, since this tower was not made for ease of movement, inside or out.

At this point the wind decided to be as unhelpful as possible, filled her cloak like a balloon and ripped her off the building, carrying her off toward Fangorn like a galleon in full sail. It was probably not the moment to be concentrating on the fact that she'd left both hat and staff in the tower, but it's all she could think of - well, and the rapidly approaching treetops.

[Pallador]

*Pall caught sight of what looked to be a Wizard’s robe blowing in the wind. He took out his little spyglass and saw that what it was was actually a robe with someone in it! The wind was carrying it off toward the Forest of Fangorn, and at a good clip too!* Ult, come and see! It’s a flying Wizard! Well, more like a Wizard being blown away!

[Ult]

Ult was looking in the direction Pall was pointing and whispered to himself: "It looks I'm in a different Palantir show!" He turned to Pall and asked: "What do you think....is that Maia Polykins flying up there in the sky?" Ult wondered if ever other wizzies would show up. It seems nothing could help them yet to come back from the Undying Lands. Not even the last Old Grishnak Ale he had saved up for this occasion. "So what do you think we should do...see if we can do a spell to get her back?" Ult looked puzzled..."We might as well start to wander around this place. We can always come back to see if anyone caught a ship back from into the West?"

[Pallador]

So where do you think we should go first? Since we’ve returned from The Undying Lands not much of this place has been explored. We don’t really have any idea just what has been happening while we’ve been in Valinor and Middle Earth always was a land filled with perils for the unwary. I’m all for setting out myself but a guide could be a very useful thing. Perhaps we should try to find a friendly guide, what do you think?

[Pallador]

*Ultchuk didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, so Pall decided to take the initiative. He found the palantir and checked Middle Earth Online for any guides for Rohan. The listings were slim but one seemed promising.* Let me see. ”Grima’s the name! If I can’t lead you there and back again, nobody can!” Whaddaya say, Ult? Should I give this guy a call?